Home without makeup during quarantine by Myesha Hossain
Quarantining can unleash a darker side of us as we slide into comfort zones and embrace a minimalist lifestyle. However, we all know comfort zones can be a euphemism for stagnation and sometimes the minimalist lifestyle translates to minimum effort. This might be fine if you are living alone since no one else can bear witness to what is happening behind closed doors. For those who are living with their partners, the comfort zones can warrant disgust, disdain, or indifference from our partners, all recipes cooking up lackluster relationships. The same man we would dress up for eagerly and carefully is the same one we no longer might want to put the effort in for. The same woman a man might be strategically planning a date and surprise for might no longer take as much initiative during the months in quarantine. Our relationships might be fine and highly functional, with no real problems, yet we might still feel that something is missing. That absence is the symptom of falling into the trap of a routine and not actively creating that surprise element to keep our partners on their toes. For couples in long term relationships, that novel aspect wears off but is always refreshing when it takes place and is beneficial to the relationship when done healthily and respectfully.
The beginning of quarantine may have spurred a lot of motivation as social media platforms circulated messages on this being the time we finally got around to what we wanted to do. Whether it be starting that business you wanted, learning a new language, learning how to crochet, preparing healthy meals every day, the emotional ambition was high until the reality of our new lives sunk in. It is worth mentioning that several states have at least 20% of their population drinking during work hours. It is easy to fall into a comfort zone because there is less accountability as opposed to having your progress being observed when trying to overcome a challenge, no matter how small. Slipping into it is almost putting your partner in a trap - no matter if you are a man or a woman. No one wants the mood to be disrupted if there is no problem. However, sometimes the problem is that there is no optimal level of pressure to push you to grow and challenge yourself.
Getting comfortable in a relationship:
Challenging the comfort zone can be dangerous if not done gently and authentically. Asking your partner to change something that will allow her to grow or him to change his habits to benefit the relationship could mistakenly be taken for as not accepting them for how they are. That is always scary to hear - we want to be accepted for who we as long as we maintain all healthy boundaries in our relationship. However, what it means when your partner is challenging you is, “Hey I don’t think you care how I think about you, you don’t seem to want to impress me the way you used to. I miss knowing you want to work for my attention. You always have it too, but I want to see you care that you have mine.” If you start approaching challenges to yourself and your relationship that way, it will only lead to growth in every area of your life, and even others too.
If your boyfriend likes seeing you in pigtails, take 15 minutes once a week to do the pigtails and change into some fresh and sexy pajamas. If you haven’t got your girl flowers, order some under her name and watch her unpack them. As women, we also have higher maintenance than men. We like to get our hair and nails done. It’s 2020 and natural is finally IN! Natural beauty puts pressure on you because it means embracing a lifestyle that brings out the best in you. Being at quarantine might mean you can’t get your nails done, however, clean shapely nails on moisturized hands can never go wrong either! Healthy hair, no matter what hair texture or length is going to be better than damaged or poorly maintained hair.
As a woman in a relationship, I can feel jealous if I even think about my partner enjoying another woman’s beauty or company. During quarantine, it is much easier to avoid that since you are pretty much the only woman he is interacting with and there are limited, if any, extended interactions with other women. Having the city slowly open up may stir up thoughts that threaten how secure we feel when our relationship also begins to have a public sphere again. Take this time to be many different people for your man and let him be that for you too. It will be weird, funny, and sexy with practice as you both build confidence tapping into different roles for each other.
It isn’t really about the makeup or the hair or not being able to go out on dates. Our partners know what we look like without makeup or when our hair is a mess. They love us and accept us for who we are in our most natural state. However, what is a difficult pill to swallow is when we take this for granted and use it as an excuse to not put in the effort for what our partners like, and what attracted them to us in the first place. It is about finding a healthy balance of entering the comfort zone but knowing when to bring a refreshing and invigorating dose of novelty. Yes, it will take some work and it means you have to get out of bed and pause your favorite show on Netflix. But quality time together after impressing your partner is always worth it!