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Dating Outside Your Type

by Jeanine Dorrough

Photo by Kampus Production from Pexels

Everyone thinks they know their type. Some people say that your type is what you are immediately attracted to and that it is not something you can control. I have to say that this seems like the most popular description. If this is your definition for 'type,' you shouldn’t only stick to that because dating should be about a lot more than initial attraction.


Other people say that the one you’re attracted to from the start is the kind of man you usually date. This is a slightly less popular opinion. If this is your definition of a ‘type,’ then perhaps you should also avoid only dating the guys you’re used to being with, maybe it's time to mix it up? I say this because if you have continually dated the same kind of guy and it hasn’t worked out, then there’s no point in continuing this cycle. I say that your type should be the kind of guy that makes you happy and confident.


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When I was a fanatical teenager in high school I thought my dream guy was dark, mysterious, possibly covered in tattoos, and filled with unresolved angst. I can 100% say that I was not meant to be with an angsty bad boy, considering I grew up in a small cowboy town in Texas, the odds I would ever meet him at all was slim to none. Because of that, I turned away any guy who didn’t bring to my mind, Damon Salvatore. Imagine thinking you’re going to find a Damon Salvatore in high school, embarrassing I know.


Our types are hardly ever what's truly right for us. I know, I for one do not have the patience to be with a problematic bad boy. At the end of the day, most of us end up with almost the total opposite of what we swore our type to be. If you restrict yourself to your type, you may never truly find “Mr. Right.” People often base their taste in men on what they are attracted to, but in all actuality, our types should be what kind of guy makes us happiest.


To be quite frank, ‘having a type,’ is overrated. I missed out on a lot of possibly good relationships in life because I was waiting for something I thought I wanted. In reality, I had no idea what I wanted. No one ever knows until they experience what it is that they do not want. Be open to the idea of dating someone you normally wouldn’t pursue. Exchange the leather jacket for a book perhaps.


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Having a type can be a dangerous thing. People can become so focused on their preset, strict standards that they stop looking for someone who will treat them right. Don’t get consumed by some idea of a person. Find someone who is kind and cares about you. Love is love, and at the end of the day, all that matters is that you make each other happy.


The point is, don’t let your love life revolve around some concept that tickles your fancy when you see it in a movie. If you’ve only ever gone after the same kind of guys, and it hasn't been working, then take the hint that the universe is giving you. Don’t turn away a good person just because his hair is the wrong color, or because he’s not tall enough. We always say that it's what is on the inside that matters, so prove it.


It’s okay to have preferences or to know what you do or don’t like. However, there's a difference between preference and prejudice. If you aren’t attracted to a certain type of person, that is okay. But if you refuse to give anyone a shot unless they fit your quota of checkmarks, you’re making a mistake. Know a good thing when it comes your way. Don’t be afraid to pursue someone different from your usual. At the end of the day, it could benefit you more than you realize.


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