Leadership in Romantic Relationships: Guest post by Elliott Katz
Are you fed up with men who ask you out and then can never choose a place to go for a cup of coffee?
Are you frustrated with men who, when there is a decision that needs to be made, say “Whatever you want, you decide?”
Why do so many men act this way? How can a woman get a man to take responsibility and show his share of leadership in a relationship?
Many men act this way because they’ve never learned that women want strong masculine males. Many men didn’t grow up with strong male role models. And despite wanting to put forth their best foot, they don’t want to be accused of being controlling and think they’re playing it safe by avoiding taking the lead.
So, how can a woman encourage a man to become a strong masculine male?
Stop making decisions for him
If he asks you to take the lead and decide on a certain issue, but instead you wanted him to, say: "I want you to decide." Then don't say anything else. Let him decide.
If he says, “You decide,” or doesn’t say anything at all, say: “I like it when you make the decision,” and let him voice his opinions.
And when he does decide, tell him he made a good decision. Even if the thing he decides on doesn’t turn out to be such a good decision, don’t criticize him because that could cause him to withdraw completely – and you don’t want that. Instead, focus on what you both learned from it.
Encourage him to take charge of situations that need to be dealt with.
When there’s a situation, ask him to take charge of handling it. Don’t tell him what to do. If he asks you, say: “I want you to decide. Try Googling it.” However, make sure you accept that he may handle it differently than you would, and under all circumstances, avoid contradicting him unless what he wants to do is dangerous.
Don’t criticize him.
A lot of men say they tried to take the lead but were criticized and gave up. Show him appreciation. Be supportive. He will be a man with a plan. And when there’s a situation that needs to be dealt with – depending on the situation -- he’ll step forward and discuss a solution with you or he may handle it himself.
With this advice you can make sure that he will become the strong masculine male you desire and admire.
Elliott Katz is a coach, speaker and author of a relationship advice book, Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man Being the Strong Man A Woman Wants: Timeless wisdom on being a man which has been translated into 24 languages around the world. To check out his website: www.ElliottKatz.com
Professional Dating Coach
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