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How to Help Your Partner Who Struggles With Fears and Anxiety

Black Couples Therapy

Guest Post by Stan Popovich

Does your partner struggle from fear, anxiety, and depression and is it hurting you and your relationship? It can be frustrating to watch someone you know suffer and not be able to help them. Most importantly, the person who is struggling is fearful and they need help to get better.

As a result, here are some ways on how to help the person cope in these kinds of situations and how he or she can overcome their fears and anxieties.

Learn as much as you can in managing anxiety and depression: There are many books and information that will educate you on how to deal with fear and anxiety. Share this information with the person who is struggling with their mental health issues.

Be understanding and patient with the person struggling with their fears: Dealing with depression and anxiety can be difficult for the person so do not add more problems than what is already there. Do not get into arguments with the person who is having a difficult time with their anxieties.

Talk to the person instead of talking at them: It is important not to lecture the person who is struggling with anxiety and depression. Talk to the person about their issues without being rude. Most people will listen if you correctly approach them.

Tell the person what will happen if they do not get help: Another way to convince the person who is struggling with fear and depression is to tell them what may happen if they don’t get some assistance. Anxiety and depression can make things worse and usually it won’t go away by itself without some kind of treatment.

Find Out the Reasons Why the Person Won’t Get Help: Address the issues on why the person will not get the necessary help. Many people who are struggling are fearful and frustrated. Try to find out the reasons why he or she won’t get the help they need and then try to find ways that will overcome their resistance to seeking assistance.

Determine the Solutions to Those Barriers: Once you get those reasons on why the person won’t get help, try to find the answers that will help relieve their fears of getting help. Addressing one’s fears and concerns may convince the person to get some help. Talk to a counselor if you need some guidance on how to get your partner to get treatment for their mental health issues.

Have the person take it one day at a time: Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming months, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. When the time comes, hopefully, you will have learned the skills to deal with your situation.

Get Your Partner to Read positive affirmations: It is important to discover things that make you feel confident. Read a self-help book or look for inspiration online, then write down all of the things that motivate you. Find something positive daily and reflect on what you can do to improve your situation. Don’t focus on the things that make you feel anxious and fearful.

In addition to helping your partner who is struggling, here are some tips you can offer your partner on how to get rid of their fears and their anxieties.

Get the facts. Sometimes we encounter scary, upsetting situations. When encountering these events, always remember to get all of the facts of the given situation. Gathering the facts can prevent you from relying on exaggerated and fearful assumptions. By focusing on the facts, you can rely on what is reality and what is not.

Challenge Your Depressing Thoughts: One of the ways to manage your depression is to challenge your negative thinking with positive statements and realistic thinking. When encountering thoughts that make your fearful or depressed, challenge those thoughts by asking yourself questions that will maintain objectivity and common sense. Your fearful thoughts are usually not based on reality.

Learn from Your Experiences: In every anxiety-related situation you experience, begin to learn what works, what doesn't work, and what you need to improve on in managing your fears and anxieties. For instance, you have a lot of anxiety and you decide to take a walk to help you feel better. The next time you feel anxious you can remind yourself that you got through it the last time by taking a walk. This will give you the confidence to manage your anxiety the next time around.

You Can’t Predict the Future: Remember that no one can predict the future with 100 percent certainty. Even if the thing that you are afraid of does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can't predict which can be used to your advantage. Remember that we may be 99 percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that 1 percent to make a world of difference.

Use Self Visualization: Sometimes, we can get anxious over a task that we will have to perform shortly. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind. For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that you're playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes. Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation and increase your self-confidence.

Get Help From A Counselor: Seek help from a professional who can help your friend or relative with their mental health struggles. A counselor can give you advice and ideas on how to overcome anxiety, fear, and depression. Getting help from a professional is the number one priority in helping your loved one deal with fear and anxiety. Joining a local mental health support group can also be helpful. Talk to your doctor to get more information about potential groups in your area.

Always ask for someone who has a good reputation: Remember that finding a counselor to help you depends on how you interact with the counselor and how they interact with you. It may take a couple of tries to find the right person, but do not give up. Finding a good counselor will pay off in the long run, so be persistent in finding the right person for you.


Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear”. Stan’s advice has been featured in the media. For more information about Stan’s book and to get some more free mental health advice visit Stan’s website at