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How To Make Friends In Your 30s And Single

by Danielle Wright

Single and 30…oh, how dreadful! Just kidding lol. I’m single and 31, yay!

When you’re single that’s one thing, but friendless, in your 30s, that’s just unfortunate. I remember watching an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie exhaustingly says, “I’m 35!” on her birthday. She was sad because not only was she in her mid-thirties but she was also single. Charlotte then reminded her that they were her soul mates. It was such a beautiful scene.

You see, making friends in your 30s can be challenging, but there are some ways to meet new people and/or deepen old friendships. We caught up with Shari Leid from An Imperfectly Perfect Life who was kind enough to break down the 7 types of friends every woman needs in her life.


Who is she? She is the friend that motivates you simply by the way she does life. She is full of energy and seems to have more hours in a day than anyone else. In addition to succeeding at her career of choice, she also makes time for friends and family.

Why do you need her? Because she reminds you that you can have it all without being overwhelmed or overrun. Her energy and zest for life are contagious. She pushes you to want more and to join her as she moves through life with ambition finding success along the way.

JENNY FROM THE BLOCK Who is she? She is the friend who grew up in the same neighborhood/borough/town as you.

Why do you need her? She feels like family simply because you shared the same childhood experiences. You can reminisce about the corner store, the local school, and other things specific to your childhood experience growing up in your neighborhood. You don’t feel judged by her, because she understands where you came from without you having to explain. She’s comfort food for the soul.

THE COMEDIAN Who is she? She is the friend who we know we’ll belly laugh with at some point during the night.

Why do we need her? She reminds you of the joy of levity. She brings out the childlike joy that only laughter can bring.

THE RISK TAKER Who is she? She is a friend who never backs down from a challenge. She takes the world less traveled.

Why do we need her? She challenges you to face your fears. She reminds you that life is short, and you don’t want to be caught sitting on the sidelines.

THE GIRLFRIEND WHO WAS THE SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL WHEN YOU WERE A FRESHMAN Who is she? She is the girlfriend who is just a few years ahead of you. She knows the lay of the land and has vetted the people she is going to introduce you to.

Why do you need her? She is your mentor, your confidant.

THE EXTROVERT Who is she? She is your girlfriend that you invite to any party that you are hosting or attending because she gets the party started. She makes sure everyone has fun.

Why do you need her? She is your go-to date when your significant other can’t make it. She is that friend that you can take anywhere from the swap market to the black-tie affair, and she’ll fit right in!

THE ORGANIZER Who is she? She is the one who makes sure you find time for one another. She makes the restaurant reservations; she plans the girl trips.

Why do you need her? She is your girlfriend that you can count on to never drop the ball–you can rest assured that you’ll never miss your flight or reservations on a girl trip due to lack of organization when you are with her.

Now that you know the types of friends you need, the next question is, how do you find them? Well, I highly recommend Bumble BFF. I met a few ladies off the app and yes, some were bat-shit crazy, but the majority were great! So far from this list, I’ve met – The Organizer, The Superstar, and The Girlfriend Who Was A Senior In HS When I was A Freshman aka she’s older than me. I love them, so far.

Out of all of us, only one of us is in a committed relationship, which is okay that means that the rest of us are open to love and working on ourselves to attract the right person. Until then, we do small things for each other to show our appreciation. Especially our friend who is the organizer, she goes above and beyond to host us so we’re always gifting her things.

Related articles: Can a Soulmate be a Friend?

Some things I’ve shared with my friends that they’ve admitted to falling in love with are:

Radixir Confidence Serum – I love a good serum and so does my friend(s). This one is a good price point, day or night you can use 1-2 drops on your face and neck after cleansing, right before you moisturize. It is formulated to address oily skin.

Toppick Hair building Fibers – I suffer from alopecia and so does one of the ladies, so when I shared these products with her, she was smitten. We both are. Highly recommended. Something like alopecia can lower your self-confidence, so if you have a good friend who trusted you enough to share this part of their journey with you, help them out by getting them something that is both useful and affordable.

Peptide Packed Dewy Toning Mist – If you’re like me and didn’t have a face steamer for ages, this product is for you and your bestie, too. When I met my new friends they weren’t up on skincare all that much, I had to put them on and they’re all so glad that I did. This product is one I recommended as well since it hydrates the skin and gives it a plumper, firmer, and even-toned appearance.

Alodia’s Nourish & Grow Healthy Hair and Scalp Oil – One of my friends has dreadlocks and she started using this product and now swears by it. It’s great for a pre-shampoo treatment, hot oil treatment and to add sheen. She’s let me know that she plans on sticking with this brand. So, give them a try.

You see, being single in your 30s does not correlate with your love life. Your friends can bring you joy and if you pour into yourself and your friendships the way you would a romantic partner you’ll find that it's more fulfilling. Finding women who are generous, grateful, and kind are a prize. Don’t underestimate that.

We wish you much luck on your journey.


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