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How to Tell If Your Baby Mama Still Loves You

by Danielle Wright

The mother of your child may be hard to get over because once she begins to show signs of detachment, then you’re more likely to show interest. Don’t worry; this is science.

Studies show that men are naturally attracted to independent, self-reliant, and strong women—however, this woman must be feminine. In other words, a woman can be capable of taking care of herself, but when it comes time to allow her man to lead, she is able to do so. When a man decides to depart from a relationship, it’s usually because he feels emasculated, mothered, and/or obligated by his partner to do right. So, now you’re wondering if your baby mama still loves you, but could it be due to ego or shared feelings?


The average woman who shares a child with a man is not looking to raise that child alone or co-parent. She is, in fact, dedicated to being with the father of her child and building a relationship with him. More times than not, it is the man who decides that he cannot withstand the responsibilities that are associated with parenthood. The concept of caring for and raising a child is non-stop, and thus, your freedom and maturity are called into question.

Most relationships end when a child enters the picture because most men do not know how to retreat from being the center of attention to simply being…a parent. The things your girlfriend would normally do for you to ease your life are now being done for the child you both share, and she is, in fact, too tired to split her labor. Once the child is of age and self-reliant, this is when the father returns claiming to be interested. But do you see the correlation? A woman must be self-reliant, and so must the child you both share in order for there to be an interest in playing an active role in either of their lives. This is both unhealthy and selfish.


It’s no secret that many women will welcome the idea of their baby father returning to be with them because parenting is hard, and parenting alone can be catastrophic. Children need structure, and fathers are there to lend a firm hand, provide, and raise his child to be a positive reflection of himself. Women should not have children with men who the world does not need a carbon copy of…and while we can continue to say this, it’s almost impossible to stop women from procreating with men who are not good people, let alone good parents.

So, what happens now? What happens now that you’ve seen the mother of your child thriving in your absence and you’ve begun to take interest in her again? Does she conform and allow you back into her life with ease, or does she continue to set her boundaries and send you on your way? In some cases, it’s easy to tell when a woman wants her family back, but if that were the case, you probably wouldn’t be reading this article. Here are some signs:

COMMUNICATION – Most women are big on communication, especially with the man they love or like. If she maintains open and honest communication with you and expresses her feelings, then she’s most likely still in love with you and has hope of your returning. On the other hand, if she’s standoffish and is only interested in talking about the needs of your child, then she’s detached. Most women grow attached to men through sex—it’s science—therefore, if you two are not engaged in any physical activity, then it’s safe to say that she is no longer head over heels for you. Men, on the other hand, can fall in love through the absence of sex.

ACTIONS - Let’s say you’re in a new relationship and your baby mother contacts you at odd hours of the night, evening, or even in the daytime despite knowing you are unavailable. This could be a sign that she is still hopeful of a reconnection between you both. Not only this, but she is open to spending time with you and the child you share on your days.

A detached woman would detest the thought of spending time with her ex when it’s his day or week to take the child. This is her time to unwind, engage in activities with friends, and be in her own energy, so if she’s ditching all of that to be around you when she does not have to be, then it’s a safe bet that she still has that small twinkle in her heart and it beats for you.

EMOTIONAL CONNECTION – Are the conversations that were once hard to have now easy? Let’s say you both used to argue over minor things around the home or in your lives, but now that you’ve separated, things are easier to discuss. This could very well be due to having lowered expectations. Normally for women when we begin sleeping with a man, we expect the world of him.

It takes a conscious effort to understand his emotions and personality and compromise. Unfortunately, this usually doesn’t happen until the sex is removed and both parties can see one another without the rose-colored glasses. For you, this could be a dream come true, but typically once things become physical again, it is likely that the same patterns of behavior will arise, driving you two apart yet again.

BODY LANGUAGE – This leads me to body language because this is the most obvious. If your baby mother is initiating sex or wanting to hold hands, wears revealing clothing, or is okay with flirting with you, then it’s safe to assume that her love for you still lingers. But make no mistake, it is one thing to act on this, but you should remember why you two broke up in the first place.

If it was infidelity on your part and no work has been done to heal that part of you that is morally bankrupt, then it’s safe to say that history will repeat itself and next time you may end up with another child. All of the progress you’ve both made up until this point will essentially dissipate. The second go-around does not always end on good terms, so just be mindful of this if you’re looking to reopen those doors.

All in all, you are both adults who share a little human, so you should always do what is best for the child. If maintaining a platonic relationship is healthier, then do that. Men and women are very different, and while for you it could be simply reigniting an old flame, for her, it could be reopening old wounds that she has not properly healed due to not being able to put herself and her emotions first. The child is the priority, and when women have unhealed trauma, it will always resurface, whether you like it or not.


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