In the world we live in, one of deep cleaned shine and promise, where we have become scatterbrained and itchy for entertainment, it is hard to maintain anything for long. We rise too fast and cannot keep our longevity. Commercials are too slow; people on-screen stay alive for longer than we’d like. We want explosions and we want them now! That same expectation has even begun to bleed into our everyday lives, our relationships. We go on date after date, trying to find somebody who will race down the dimly lit streets and make our hearts forget their parachutes. We’ve become picky. We don’t want average or nice or cute. We want only the biggest, funniest, brightest people in our lives. Though this feverish kind of love is unable to thrive for the most part, like a plant in the dark, we continue our search regardless. In relationships—particularly homosexual relationships—these expectations can be damaging and even toxic at times. However, it is only natural to want to keep your partner interested and there are healthy ways to do so. Known for offering lesbian relationship advice and as the star of a lesbian oriented web series, New York Girls TV, the ever-charming Boop has mastered the art of keeping somebody’s attention in a relationship. From that show came a spin-off series, a reality show in which women fought for Boop’s love. It only felt right to ask her what she thought. “Firstly, it is important to maintain a healthy, steady relationship with yourself before considering anybody else. This is always number one!” Boop says. When you’re in a place where you are at peace with yourself and the challenge shifts to maintaining a spark between you and your partner, the best route to take is to pay attention to detail. What would your partner want and why? Even a simple gift can mean so much. This method can be applied to both emotional and sexual intimacy. What gets your partner in the mood? Remain considerate of their individual needs. In every relationship, there is an almost childlike desire to keep everything as it was during the so-called “honeymoon phase” when the love is still developing and your partner excites you by simply breathing. However, according to Boop, “When we think of the Honeymoon Phase, we tend to forget that it ends. It is a phase!” That love, once mushy and pink, has now matured into something sustainable. This progression, although different, should not scare you or your partner. In fact, it’s something to be celebrated! I get to tend to you as a complete person and vice versa. Your initial euphoric obsession can now be channeled into safe, playful domesticity.
That being said, once you’ve been with someone for a while, there is still a need to keep the
energy between you both, light and intriguing. Boop’s biggest advice is to, “have fun!” Once you’ve both traded and shared what you dislike and like, that is where the real excitement is going to seep in. Communication is key in all situations. Don’t smother or stray if you feel as though you’re not ‘fun’ anymore. Ask your partner what they think. Plan something special and unique to them. “Give them enough space for them to enjoy their own company.” This way, they will come back to you even more complete than before. The age-old saying is true,
after all. Absence makes the heart grow fonder!
You can find Boop at her Instagram: @Depth_Beauty_Grit
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