top of page

​My Boyfriend Expects Me to Pay for Everything

by Danielle Wright

In a relationship, it's common for both parties to contribute financially. However, what happens when one person expects the other to pay for everything? This can cause a significant strain on the relationship and lead to feelings of resentment and frustration.

First and foremost, it's important to communicate with your boyfriend about your financial situation and your expectations. If you are unable to afford to pay for everything, it's important to be honest with your partner. It's possible that your boyfriend may not realize the extent of the financial burden he is placing on you.

One possible reason for your boyfriend expecting you to pay for everything could be due to cultural or societal norms. In some cultures, it's expected that the man pays for everything in the relationship. It's important to have a conversation with your partner to discuss your cultural differences and how they may impact your relationship.

Another reason could be that your boyfriend is not aware of the financial responsibilities that come with being in a relationship. Perhaps he has never been in a serious relationship before and doesn't understand that both parties are expected to contribute financially. In this case, it's important to educate him on what is expected in a relationship and discuss how you can both contribute.

It's also possible that your boyfriend may be struggling financially and is unable to contribute as much as he would like. In this case, it's important to be understanding and work together to come up with a plan that works for both of you. You could suggest budgeting together and finding ways to cut back on expenses.

If your boyfriend continues to expect you to pay for everything despite your communication, it may be a red flag for the future of the relationship. Financial issues are a leading cause of divorce and it's important to address them early on in the relationship.

In addition to communication, there are other steps you can take to address the issue. For example, you could suggest splitting expenses 50/50 or coming up with a system where you take turns paying for things. It's important to come up with a plan that works for both of you and feels fair.

It's also important to set boundaries and prioritize your own financial well-being. You should not feel obligated to pay for everything and it's okay to say no if you cannot afford something. You should also make sure you are taking care of your own financial responsibilities such as paying bills and saving for the future.

It's also a good idea to have a hobby on the side where you're generating income that is not shared between you and your partner. FeetFinder is a great option because you can earn revenue and remain anonymous, this way, your partner will be unaware of your extra income.

(The above is for dire circumstances, as it is our responsibility here at She's SINGLE to promote ethical and respectful behavior in all aspects of life, including relationships.)

In some cases, it may be helpful to seek the advice of a financial counselor or therapist. They can help you work through the financial issues in your relationship and come up with a plan that works for both of you.

Just to recap, here are some things to consider when your boyfriend expects you to pay for everything:

Understand the Root Cause of the Problem: Before jumping to conclusions or getting into an argument, it's important to understand why your boyfriend expects you to pay for everything. It could be due to his financial situation, or he may have certain beliefs about gender roles in relationships. Understanding the root cause can help you address the issue and find a solution that works for both of you.

Communicate Your Concerns: It's crucial to communicate your concerns with your boyfriend in a non-judgmental and respectful manner. Explain how you feel about the situation and how it's affecting your relationship. Listen to his perspective and try to understand his point of view. Communication is key to finding a solution that works for both of you.

Set Boundaries: If you feel uncomfortable with your boyfriend's financial expectations, it's important to set boundaries. Let him know what you're willing and not willing to pay for, and be clear about your financial limitations. It's important to prioritize your financial well-being and avoid getting into debt or financial strain.

Find a Compromise: Finding a compromise is essential to resolving the issue. It could be as simple as splitting expenses evenly, or it could involve reevaluating each other's financial situations and coming up with a mutually agreed-upon spending plan. Finding a compromise that works for both of you can help avoid future conflicts.

Reevaluate the Relationship: If your boyfriend is unwilling to compromise or respect your financial boundaries, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. Financial incompatibility can lead to larger relationship problems, and it's essential to prioritize your financial well-being and happiness.


bottom of page