Photo by: Christelyn Karazin
To the women who continuously strive for emotional freedom from their past, I support you. Speaking truth to trauma is freedom, and being believed in, is healing. Your freedom – your healing – is long overdue. Black women’s freedom is long overdue.
We live in a culture that does not allow women to be victims of trauma – especially if you're a woman of color. Black women have always felt the brunt of the cruel, profit-centered, dehumanizing rules of our society – rules that have stripped them of power, dignity, and choice. Century-old tropes of a deceitful Jezebel and strong Black woman, coupled with an obligation to protect your community's reputation, has silenced you. The expectation to protect at all costs robs Black survivors of freedom to acknowledge they have been victimized in any way. It places parameters around how, when, and if you seek justice, and scrutinizes you when you dare to share your stories. This is why I, and many others, support you. Every day you continuously choose to stand up and break old traditions of keeping your trauma a secret. The time to end the perpetual silence and shame is now.
In an exclusive interview with Black Women's Writer and Activist, Christelyn Karazin, we dive deep into how Black women can heal from past trauma and start living their best lives. With the launch of her newest digital empire, The Pink Pill and The Pink Pill for Business, she helps women by giving them the inside track on everything from social skills and etiquette to visual presentation and communication techniques as well as inside tips to fast-track their love lives and careers. Her success with The Pink Pill series of online courses has been unprecedented, earning her more than $500,000 in revenue in the two years since the 2018 launch of her flagship course, which is no accident. She has tapped into a real need among many black women to gain more insight into how to bypass some of the discrimination and stigmas that plague them. In doing so, she has also created a thriving community - one that helps aid in the healing process.
Christelyn's inspiration to help women process their trauma and use it to cultivate their success comes from years of navigating her own suppressed emotions. She said, "I built these courses to help women of color and minorities dissect what has traditionally not worked for us and how we can finally start winning. I grew up in a family that didn't have the time to teach us these fundamental 'soft skills.' The Pink Pill is designed for us to start helping each other."
How do we heal?
What is the better way? How do we heal from years of oppressed trauma? Karazin said it best, "To confront what makes us angry, sad, and unhappy. We must confront the realities of our trauma, understand and learn from it, to move forward and rebuild. We must feel all of our feelings, break down all that has caused us to feel negative, to start from new ways of thinking, being, feeling, and connecting." To heal, we must honor the feelings we feel: the anger, the confusion, the loss, the trauma, the pain, and the guilt. We must be honest about our reality to ourselves.
"Recovery from trauma does not constitute a complete absence of memories or feelings associated with the traumatic event; but rather finding the ability to live in the present without being overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings from the past. You need to go back and formulate a more sophisticated view of the world to avoid falling into the same pits. "We are not responsible for our trauma, but we are responsible for the healing. Your anxiety system is screaming, "Unexplored Territory!" by reviewing the memories repeatedly until you pay attention. "It's there until you listen; It speaks until you're safe," she says.
If you're on a healing journey from childhood and family trauma right now, try exploring these resources and use them as a springboard to find what's right for you.
Practices — to help build a strong relationship with yourself:
Inner child work — “Talking to and caring for the wounded parts of myself in therapy sessions and on my own has become essential to my healing,” said Christelyn. “Now, if I'm sad, I'll let myself cry and ask myself questions to check my feelings. The Pink Pill is here to help you and teach you how to process. It exposes you to practices that you can use to every day to become more self-aware.”
Read a book – “Eastern Body, Western Mind” by Anodea Judith — “Eastern Body, Western Mind” focuses on vital issues in therapy today: addiction, codependency, physical and sexual abuse, family dynamics, character structures, personal empowerment, feminism, male emancipation, sexuality, politics, and spirituality. By far, the best book I've found outlining trauma and its impacts on the developmental stage of life. This book also maps Eastern chakra development onto Western psychological development. I've never come across anything else like this!
Go to therapy – “Anyone who has been to therapy knows how powerful it can be to explore your innermost feelings, fears, and thoughts about your life with a professional. Parts of your life that felt confusing now become clear, emotional weights are lifted off your shoulders, and forgotten dreams start to feel real again.”
Each person will find their way to healing and discover the support tools that make the most significant difference. As you go through your days and weeks, notice which tools and resources you're naturally drawn to or make you 'light up' inside. That's usually a good indicator that a tool may be worth exploring for you. There's more for all of us to discover, so invest in yourself and your future, and start going after the life you want.
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