We're Coming Out - The First Impressions Issue

by Katie Dames

Coming out to your family can be a hard and daunting task, no matter how loving and accepting your family typically is. It’s scary to reveal this secret and wonder whether or not people will love you for who you are. The main thing to remember is that once you choose to reveal this part of yourself, do not be ashamed. Proudly yet thoughtfully tell your family your news and give them time to process it. Depending on family dynamics, you might decide it’s best to tell everyone all together, or you might prefer to start with a smaller crowd. Do whichever way is easiest for you so that you aren’t overwhelmed, and you feel better prepared to handle the situation. At the same time, you are reminding your family that you are still the same person that you were before, remind yourself as well so that you do not shake your self-confidence. Focus on how much your family means to you, the fact that you love them and hope that they can continue to love and support you for who you are.


Despite the rising acceptance rates, once you come out, things might get a bit complicated before they settle down. During this time, don’t let your current relationship with your partner fall to the wayside; make sure that it still remains a priority. Your communication might be affected by tense moods or a need to focus more proactively on relationships with family members. Despite these obstacles, make time to work on the communication with your partner. Difficult times that are accompanied with open, vulnerable communication, often create the strongest foundation for a lasting relationship. Additionally, decide to tackle this issue as a couple so that you can support each other throughout it.


Without a doubt, the biggest pro about same sex relationships is the fact that they allow you to be true to who you are. Luckily, the rising awareness of the need to eliminate the LGBTQ+ stigma means that our generation is becoming more accepting of same-sex relationships. Unfortunately, this isn’t necessarily the case of older generations, parents, and particular family friends.


The important thing to remember is that other people’s reactions are not a reflection of you. You can’t control how those around you react to certain situations, you’re coming out included. Fighting hate with love is the only way to live in peace. Spread love, give love, and accept love. Learn to ride the waves and let the tide roll off your shoulder. Living in a same-sex relationship has less challenges than it used to, but negative people will still surprise you on every corner, and you have to learn to be okay with that to a certain extent. This advice is true not only of same-sex relationships, but also to any aspect of life. With the rise of social media, ‘likes’ and ‘follows’ have begun to define our self-worth. Living a life that is dominated by awaiting others self-approval is not a life. So, you do you, and love will win.


For more information from Katie, visit feelyfeelings.com

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