by Danielle Wright
Why is courting a woman dead in 2024? No, really, it is. A social media thread is gaining traction after a user on X asked, “Fellas in a relationship, how did you court your lady?” The responses ranged from, “Went out on dates, comedy shows, restaurants, etc.,” to “IG, just asked her to lunch.”
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One reply even read, “She courted me tbh lol. Started as 100% platonic friends. She saw how my ‘light dimmed’ when I was around my gf at the time. One night she said, ‘Don’t let someone treat you like glass when you’re a diamond.’ In our second year of marriage, and it was the best decision of my life.”
The first problem with this thread is the original question itself because courting, in its true meaning, refers to the traditional process of pursuing a woman romantically with the intention of building a serious, long-term relationship, often leading to marriage. The OP should have asked for input from men who are married. This would indicate there was a process of courtship that led to the marriage.
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What is courting? Courting involves intentional actions to show respect, affection, and commitment. It is about building trust, understanding, and emotional connection, often emphasizing mutual respect and meaningful interactions rather than casual or fleeting encounters (aka relationships). A man asking a woman on a date does not mean he is courting her; he is simply interested in seeing if there is a connection strong enough to lead to courtship.
In other words, the first date between a man and a woman should be in an intimate space or an environment where there is uninterrupted conversation (e.g., a baseball game, a high-end restaurant free from screaming children or loud chatter, or even a picnic date). During this first in-person encounter, a man can begin to develop an emotional connection with the woman he intends to pursue. A woman’s physical appearance gets her a date, her conversation gets her courtship, her mindset gets her marriage, and her values and morals make her a mother.
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