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Why Do I Attract Guys Who Just Want to Sleep With Me?

Photo by Ivan Babydov from Pexels

Don’t be afraid to say it, men can be pigs. Not all men, but some. ‘Pig men,’ as I will fondly refer to them to avoid confusing them with regular men, are human too. The difference between them and women looking for love, is that ‘pig men’ are driven by their desire for sex. Almost everyone loves sex, but ‘pig men’ live for it. It’s not just one of their incentives to mingle with the opposite sex, it is their only incentive to mingle with the opposite sex.

There’s lots of reasons why a man transforms into a ‘pig man.’ It can be something as simple as immaturity. There’s a stage between boyhood and manhood, I will call it, ‘pig-hood.’ This can be teenage boys or young adults who just have not developed enough to comprehend and appreciate the beauty of love and relationships. It’s not entirely their fault, but it does become their fault when they hurt women that are innocently seeking their knight in shining armor.

Another reason a man can spiral into the form of a ‘pig man’ is they have been hurt. Heartbreak changes people, and a lot of the time it seems that heartbreak has a longer lasting effect on men than on women. When women get hurt in love, they bounce back and keep looking for something better. When men get hurt in love, they forsake the whole process as well as all women. I’m not qualified enough to say that my statement has some sort of scientific process to prove its truth, but I like to imagine it does.

I am truly a little reluctant to call them ‘pig men’ when this is the case. They are just damaged and trying to recover. They are doing it in all the wrong ways and hurting people emotionally along the way, but I still can’t help but recognize that it is pain that is driving them. A desire to avoid getting hurt. These are sensitive ‘pig men’ that are trying to avoid ever having to feel again so they can avoid ever hurting again.

The final reason for the existence of a ‘pig man’ is that he is just a bad egg. Some people are uncaring, and that is just how they are. The most popular term for this type is ‘f*ckboy.” There is no reason or excuse behind it. These are the only kind of ‘pig men’ we truly dislike. The immature or hurt ones have an excuse, and they usually recover. You can’t recover from just being born a jerk.

If you often find yourself being hurt by the infamous ‘pig men,’ don’t worry you aren’t alone. They get all of us at least once. However, you do need to worry if it is something that happens to you regularly. Ask yourself if you are intentionally seeking out emotionally unavailable men. Most of us can honestly say that we have fantasized about taming the bad boy, but we tend to misidentify emotionally unavailable ‘pig men’ as hot, loving bad boys.

Just because he is snarky and mysterious, does not mean that he’s your fantasy bad boy. It actually usually means the opposite. ‘Pig men’ are notoriously closed off, which we mistake as mystery and intrigue. When you seek out ‘pig men,’ you cannot be surprised when they leave you hanging high and dry. Like I said before, they live for sex. There’s a fix for this dilemma, start turning away from the bad boy kink and embrace men who are more open and kinder. Mystery is overrated.

If you aren’t a victim of the much-loved bad boy kink, and you’ve only encountered ‘pig men’ a few times, then you probably had a run in with a hurt ‘pig man.’ This isn’t the bad boy, but he is just as emotionally unavailable. Do not engage, it’s for the best. You can’t completely blame him either though, we’ve all tried to get over someone by getting under someone else. He’s just looking for sex to forget. If you’re looking for anything more than that, get the heck out of there.

Guys are thrill seekers. They are all about instant gratification, so even regular men can have ‘pig’ moments. Using women for sex is wrong, especially if they are aware that you are looking for more than that. Yet, it is exponentially easier, and men recognize that. Commitment takes time, hard work, dedication, and it does not always result in gratification at the end of the day. Men, who often think with the wrong head, prefer to just get that gratification and then get out.

Men live in the now, and they want to have what is fun in the moment. That leads to a desire for one-night stands and Saturdays that are reserved for the boys. Women live in the future. They want what is going to make them happy for the rest of their lives; which leads to the pursuit of a husband, or someone that will stick by their side. A relationship requires maturity and perseverance and a lot of men just aren’t willing to put in the effort.

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