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Why Is Online Dating So Hard for Guys?

by Danielle Wright

When it comes to dating men and women have very different vantage points—a man should lead and be masculine, and a woman should sit in her feminine energy and receive.

Well, two things are factual—one, based on a woman’s appearance and how she carries herself a man will assign her a dating budget.


Two, most men are not interested in chasing a conversation, pursuing a woman, sure, but chasing or begging for a text back is a no-no. Dating is expensive, so why would anyone chase down responsibility? More often than not people only invest in things they deem valuable. Men are no different here.


Online dating today is a whole different beast to tackle and yes, men do seem to be having some difficulty. According to Psychology Today, “Younger and middle-aged men are the loneliest they’ve been in generations, and it's probably going to get worse…male users of dating apps make up more than 62% and many women are overwhelmed by the number of options they have.”


The competition is rough.

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Picture this, more men joining dating apps that give women more options to choose from. Then, as we previously mentioned most men will set a dating budget for a woman he is interested in contingent upon how she carries herself. For example, a woman who gets her nails, hair, makeup, and eyebrows did daily/biweekly may be a larger investment for a man. So, if app man (A) is willing to set the dating budget at $200 for the first date and app man (B) is only able to set the dating budget to $150 for the first date, a woman may end up choosing man A.


Now, don’t get me wrong this is not all about the money, other factors are at play here: height, age, charisma, etc. Women tend to be picky about how tall a guy is, unfortunately. Your best bet is, to be honest about this and make the other good qualities about yourself stand out. When we see women turn down men on dating apps it’s usually because of something careless or superficial he’s written in his bio or questionnaire.


But overall, why is online dating so hard for guys? Dating apps can be hard for men because they are not choosing their platform wisely, giving much thought to their questionnaire responses, and coming off as emotionally unavailable. Plus, false impressions. Maybe you’re uploading a bunch of images of you out with friends and partying even though you’re a hermit. This can lead a woman to believe that you spend a lot of time doing outdoor activities and if she’s an introvert, then immediately it’s a left swipe.

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It's no surprise that most men who use dating apps like OkCupid, Hinge, or Tinder end up friend-zoned or ghosted by women and women feel the burn, too. It is unlikely that both parties using these apps are looking for something long-term, stable, and committed. However, it is not impossible. Most women would opt for a paid dating app because she believes if a man is willing to pay to find love or message her then, of course, he must be serious.


Website's like Ah!Fare blends these two things perfectly. With Ah!Fare you can create a profile that can be used to date or flirt (aka subscriptions to content). With the dating portion, they have a few key features:

Restaurant Finder: Need help finding a great place for a first date? For premium subscription holders Ah!Fare will search for nearby restaurants based on your date’s preferences and send you the information. You can make the reservation without ever leaving the website.


Date Rating Scale: If you’re a premium subscriber on Ah!Fare you can rate your date and leave a review of how things went. If things went well but you both decided to remain friends, let others know. If things went terribly wrong and the person is a catfish, let others know. Either way, you can leave ratings and others can rate you as well. As a man, this can help you to make the selection process a bit easier for your mental health and your wallet.


Roster: This premium feature allows you to see how many people your person of interest is also chatting with on Ah!Fare. We know that dating for men can be expensive and if you can avoid investing your time and money in someone who is actively juggling multiple people from the same website, then why not?


We know there’s a lot of pressure and even the most obvious—be great in bed. Once you and your partner have hit it off and decided to leave a dating app/website, the pressure to be desired on both ends can build up.


With Ah!Fare you do receive daily motivational tips to keep going and to have confidence in yourself. It’s not uncommon for men to pop pills to enhance their performance, but it’s good to keep in mind that not all women are the same, and not every dating app/website is built the same.

Related articles: Modern Dating Etiquette


Once you’ve done your due diligence and used a fine tooth comb to go through your options on where you set up and flesh out your dating profile, you may begin to see and feel a difference in your overall experience. Don’t rely heavily on one app or website to get your needs met. Spread things out and make sure that the place you end up has the resources you need for better results.


Another thing to consider is just how emotionally available you are. Women have been taking a stand lately and are no longer interested in the nonchalant guy or the guy who never wants to appear weak. Women want someone who is emotionally mature and compatible. You should make yourself open to vulnerability and step your dating website game up.

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