She’s Single: What Kandi Burruss’ Divorce Says About Dating Down and Prenups

As women, we tend to let love conquer all. We give, we take, we sacrifice. We even date down. Dating down can be perceived in many ways. In the era of aristocracy, dating down meant choosing a partner of lower social standing or caliber. An individual’s rank in society was determined by factors such as title, birthright, and land ownership. Titles included Duke, Duchess, Marquess, Marchioness, Earl, Countess, Viscount, Viscountess, Baron, and Baroness. During this time, a Duchess would not have been advised to date a Baron; it would have been considered borderline preposterous.

While this era reinforced many harmful ideals, it also emphasized marrying someone on your level in order to preserve family wealth and status. Though society has since evolved, we still see modern versions of this dynamic: old money paired with new money, the triple-degreed woman with the blue-collar man, and intellectuals joining with partners who operate on a surface level. In some instances, these relationships are rooted in genuine love and devotion. Many women value work ethic, humility, and emotional connection over ego or status.

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In other cases, however, the imbalance can signal deeper issues. It is essential to remain mindful of the risks that may arise when dating or marrying down. In Kandi Burruss’s case, dating down financially led her through a difficult storm, one she fortunately emerged from unscathed. Kandi and her soon-to-be ex-husband, Todd, met in 2011 while he was producing The Real Housewives of Atlanta. The couple became engaged in 2013 and married on April 4, 2014.

Their lavish wedding aired on Bravo, the network home of the franchise. Kandi’s mother, Joyce, was never fully supportive of the relationship. She believed Todd was after Kandi’s money and did not come from the same lifestyle Kandi had built for herself. Joyce viewed him as an opportunist attempting to benefit from Kandi’s success. Her concerns intensified after Todd appeared on The Wendy Williams Show, where he expressed frustration about Kandi’s demanding schedule and admitted he did not feel like the head of the household. He cited issues such as the home not being in his name and ongoing disagreements about spousal support in the event of a divorce. Based on Todd’s earlier language, there were clear signs of an inferiority complex. Perhaps Kandi recognized this and chose love anyway, or perhaps she did not see it at all. Love, after all, can be blinding.

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Recently, after 14 years together, Kandi announced that she had filed for divorce. The couple’s problems never improved; they only intensified over time. One of the primary issues was work-life balance, along with a growing emotional distance fueled by Kandi’s demanding career. A word of advice for men: if you choose to date a woman of stature, you must honestly ask yourself whether you can handle her star power and lifestyle. If you cannot, step aside and allow the right man to do so. It can be reasonably assumed that Todd may have attempted to dim Kandi’s light due to his own insecurities.

Kandi reportedly felt unsupported by Todd in her career and ultimately left the marriage after discovering he had been communicating with other women in ways that went beyond friendly, behind her back. This behavior further signals deep insecurity and an inferiority complex. Was Kandi’s success and status so intimidating that he felt the need to seek validation elsewhere?

Not only does this information align with Kandi’s mother’s early concerns, but it also highlights a reality many powerful women face in unequally yoked relationships. Being equally yoked does not necessarily mean having identical careers, finances, or levels of emotional intelligence. Instead, it means having a partner who offers compassion, understanding, and support, rather than someone focused solely on their own needs.

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Then comes the most unfortunate consequence of marrying down: the prenup. During the divorce proceedings, Kandi and Todd reportedly disputed their prenuptial agreement. Todd claimed he was pressured into signing it and alleged that he signed under duress. He later demanded alimony and marital assets, reinforcing Kandi’s mother’s initial skepticism by insisting that Kandi cover court-ordered payments that would support him long after their separation. This behavior represents a significant red flag, even at the end of a relationship. A man should never feel entitled to wealth he did not help build.

Fortunately for Kandi, much of her adult life has been publicly documented. She was able to counter these claims using footage from The Real Housewives of Atlanta, which showed that Todd had legal representation and willingly agreed to the prenup’s terms, effectively dismantling his financial claims. As more women continue to marry and date down, many are discovering the importance of self-protection and preservation through prenuptial agreements.

A prenup functions as a financial and legal blueprint designed to protect women. It safeguards premarital assets, clearly defines financial roles within a relationship, and helps ensure financial independence in the event of a divorce. A prenup also protects a family’s legacy by preserving heirlooms and inheritances tied to one’s name. In addition, it can protect children and prevent one spouse from assuming the other’s debt after a divorce. All women should consider prenups, especially modern-day heiresses and women of stature who have built full lives long before meeting a potential life partner.

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Women may also consider postnuptial agreements after marriage. Postnups are created once a couple has had time to settle into married life and reflect. They provide guidance on how assets, debts, and finances will be handled if the marriage ends. The truth is that we do not always know where a marriage will lead, and sometimes red flags are ignored even when they are obvious. In Kandi’s case, early warning signs were overlooked. She entered her marriage based on her feelings for Todd rather than fully evaluating the dynamics of their relationship and the indicators of his inferiority complex during their courtship.

Todd’s hesitation to sign the prenup should have been a clear warning. As the saying goes, “Mother knows best.” Kandi’s decision to disregard her mother’s concerns about Todd’s financial intentions ultimately led to stress and risk, with her assets on the line until she was able to counter his claims. Additional red flags followed. Todd’s very public trip to a strip club shortly after the birth of their child suggested misplaced priorities. Over time, the lack of emotional and professional support Kandi received became evident not only to her but also to her castmates and the general public.

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Women should consider prenups in every scenario, particularly when they bring significant premarital assets such as businesses, inheritances, or property into a marriage. This becomes even more critical when there is a notable financial gap between partners. More importantly, women must pay attention to the signs and be mindful of who they are marrying. Feelings, no matter how strong, can sometimes be misleading. As women, we often lead with our hearts and choose to see the best in those we love. Still, it is essential to step back, think logically, and consider the long-term possibilities life may present. Perhaps it is time to borrow a page from the aristocratic handbook and choose partners who are truly our equals in every sense of the word.

by Trinity Battle