Peggy Bolcoa Releases New Findings on the Psychology of “Mail-Order Brides” and International Marriages

Dr. Peggy Bolcoa has released new research that looks at the world of mail-order brides and marriages across borders. As a Peggy Bolcoa interracial couples therapist, she brings years of hands-on work to this topic. Her new paper, “The Phenomenon of ‘Mail-Order Brides’ in Today’s U.S. Society,” examines the reasons people enter these unions, the problems they face, and ways to make them last. This release matters for anyone who is in, or thinking about, a relationship with someone from another country. Dr. Bolcoa shows how these marriages blend hope with real dangers. She uses her experience as a therapist to offer clear steps forward.

Dr. Peggy Bolcoa is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a PhD. She runs a private practice in Costa Mesa, California. For more than 20 years, she has helped individuals, couples, and families repair their relationships. She trained at Wake Forest University and Chapman University. She is a member of the National Honor Society in Psychology and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.

In her work, Dr. Bolcoa handles tough issues like depression, anxiety, grief, infidelity, life transitions, and harmful patterns. She once served as the clinical director of the South Coast Center for Personal and Psychological Growth. She has won the Stan Peterson Award for her contributions.

Dr. Bolcoa is recognized as an expert in therapy for couples from different races and countries. She helps them manage conflicts caused by culture, language, and unresolved pain. She writes articles for sites like TheDatingVibes.com, where she shares advice on real-life love challenges, such as improving communication or handling phone distractions on dates. She follows a method called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which explores underlying emotions and helps couples build secure, lasting bonds. Dr. Bolcoa makes complex ideas easy to understand. She works with individuals or couples, and her goal is to turn difficult moments into opportunities for stronger connection.

THE ROOTS OF MAIL-ORDER MARRIAGES: Mail-order marriages date back centuries. In the 1600s, groups like the Virginia Company sent women to early American settlements such as Jamestown. These women received land or goods in return. Later, in places like New France, kings sent women to marry settlers. Today, the system has evolved with the internet. Men in the U.S. often connect with women from places such as the Philippines, Russia, Ukraine, Colombia, or Brazil.

Dr. Bolcoa’s paper notes that 100,000 to 500,000 women list themselves each year worldwide. In the U.S., 4,000 to 6,000 such brides enter yearly, with a peak of 11,000 in 2024. Most brides are between 21 and 30, while men are often 44 to 47. About 61% of Asian brides are under 25. Many women have college degrees—45% do. However, power imbalances exist because of finances, relocation, and cultural adjustments.

Dr. Bolcoa’s work draws on ideas from attachment theory and human evolution. Men often enter these arrangements because they feel lonely or hurt from past relationships. They look for partners who seem more traditional or easier to lead. Women often seek stable lives away from poverty or heavy family responsibilities. They want men who can provide.

Her paper highlights both the benefits and risks:

• Lower split rates: These marriages end in divorce at 20% to 35%, compared to the U.S. average of about 50%. Many last more than five years.

• High abuse risk: Brides face up to six times more domestic violence. Half of severe cases in shelters involve them. Factors such as isolation, language barriers, and long waits for green cards make things worse.

• Links to trafficking: Some arrangements connect to human smuggling. For example, 300,000 to 500,000 women from the Philippines move each year through similar channels.

• Attachment patterns: Men often show avoidant behavior—they pull back. Women often show anxious behavior—they pursue. This creates conflict. Past trauma affects 60% to 70% of these couples.

Dr. Bolcoa also shares stories from ten years of clinical work. She studied 15 couples. Here are a few examples:

• A U.S. man and a woman from the Philippines with an 18–year age gap resolved cultural conflict in 12 sessions. Their bond score rose from 85 to 120.

• A Colombian woman and her partner improved communication and financial conflict in 10 sessions.

• A Brazilian couple transformed the man’s loneliness into a stronger connection in 11 sessions. Their score increased from 90 to 130.

Overall, 70% of her cases improved with EFT. The rest showed signs of harm or unhealthy dynamics.

Motives Often Seen in Men

• Desire for a partner who values home life and loyalty

• Frustration with local dating and past breakups

• Hope for a calmer, more traditional home environment

Motives Often Seen in Women

• Search for safety, stability, and legal security

• Pressure from family or culture to marry

• Wish for commitment and a peaceful future

WHY THIS MATTERS NOW: With more people connecting online, Dr. Bolcoa’s findings offer needed clarity. She shows that mail-order marriages are not relics of the past—they are happening today, involving real people with real challenges. Her work as a therapist for international couples makes her a leading voice in the field. If you are navigating love across borders, experts like Dr. Bolcoa can help. Her approach can turn difficult situations into secure, healthy relationships. For more information, visit her website or read her full paper.

by Kimberly Samuel