The Real Reason Some Men Prey on Successful Single Women: The Danish Deception Series

By now you’ve heard the Danish Deception Series on TikTok, and you may be wondering, “How can a smart, successful woman like that allow herself to be deceived by an emotionally unavailable man?” This is no different from The Tinder Swindler on Netflix or the running joke that when it’s winter, women should lock their doors and hide their keys because broke men will need a place to sleep.

Successful women are either one of two things for men: an opportunity or a threat. Financially unstable and emotionally unavailable men are usually men operating in their feminine energy, and they will often seek out women who are more masculine. Believe it or not, successful women are more masculine-leaning than the average woman, who many in society may deem an underachiever.

To better understand this dilemma, we have to first look at how it all began: World War II. When men went to war, women entered factories, offices, and essential industries for the first time. They proved they could do work traditionally reserved for men, and many enjoyed the independence and income. We see this theme in films like Revolutionary Road, where the wife is begging her husband to quit his job, move to Paris, and restart their lives.

She was a stay-at-home wife raising two children and was bored, yet she couldn’t quite make the decision herself because her finances were nonexistent, making her dependent on her husband and his income for their livelihood. When her husband, Frank (played by Leonardo DiCaprio), finally agrees, April (played by Kate Winslet) tells him she’s pregnant. Disappointed but still clinging to the hope that they can relocate, Frank ultimately changes his mind, marking the beginning of the end of their marriage.

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By the 1980s and 90s, two-income households became essential because the cost of living began to rise. Instead of taxing one person in the household, the government realized they could tax two people—more income. At this point, women were no longer just working for the sake of it; they were forced into the workforce. Independence was no longer a choice because it was fueled by economic survival. 

Later on, we started seeing women outperform men in college enrollment, college graduation, job stability, and certain professional fields. Degrees brought earning power, and earning power brought independence. With this, women were no longer waiting for men to provide stability because they could provide it themselves. So, while this explains the environmental factors that led more women to become independent, high-income earners, one thing remained true and unchanged: science.

Now, let’s look at the Bottleneck Trap. The Bottleneck Trap is a term used to describe a situation where one limiting factor slows down or sabotages an entire system, no matter how strong or efficient everything else is. For example, in business, a company may have great marketing, a strong product, and active customers, but one bottleneck destroys momentum. This could be slow fulfillment, a poor sales process, weak cash flow, or no system for scaling. The same can be said for personal development, with something like procrastination being the bottleneck.

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In relationships, a couple may love each other, communicate well, and share values, but one bottleneck creates conflict. This can be financial inequality, one partner not feeling secure, emotional immaturity, and so on. High earner or not, women are more likely to lead with love than lust, and this can catapult them into a relationship where one person has to do the heavy lifting.

In this scenario, a woman may be in love with her bottleneck—someone who is financially unstable—which then leads her to become the solution, the one improving their circumstances and taking the more solution-oriented role (masculine energy). But the truth is, no amount of extra effort or money will fix it. The trap is believing you need to work harder everywhere when you only need to fix one critical constraint. Successful and ambitious women should not date or marry unsuccessful, lazy men. Identify and replace.

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So, why do career women face so many dating challenges? One manipulation tactic that many men use is Trojan giving. Trojan giving is a term used mostly on social media to describe a situation where someone appears to give a gift, opportunity, or kindness, but it actually comes with hidden motives, strings attached, or a negative outcome.

In marketing, this could be a brand offering an influencer or content creator “gifted products” in exchange for free labor, free promotion, free backlinks, or free content. This is also known as the bait and switch. A man may present a high-earning woman with nice dates using the last $200 in his name and a rented Mercedes-Benz. He may even send her money on occasion for her hair and nails, but all of this is to get her to lower her guard, get comfortable in the relationship, and then eventually, he becomes the one in need. But his needs are described as “reciprocation.”

At this point, for many women, their nervous system goes from “heavily in love and swept off her feet” to “I’ll fix it” and “I don’t mind doing for him because he always does for me.” While reciprocity in a general sense is harmless, it becomes problematic when a man—the one who pursued the woman—begins needing that woman for financial assistance and asking for such assistance. She will now be required to solve problems, provide, protect their relationship from others who are judging him, and prove to him that she was not “using him.”

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Men should never rely on a woman for anything. The correct way to ensure that you remain in your feminine energy and he stays in his masculine energy is for him to pursue you, for you both to date, for him to offer you things, and for you to accept. Only on occasion, or when you feel generous, should you do something nice out of kindness. Not obligation, not reciprocity—kindness. You do it because you want to, not because you feel obligated to.

Successful women have a hard time dating because they’re often prey for men who are looking for a hot meal and quick sex, not anything long-term. You can brag about your accomplishments, but all you’re doing is exposing your resources and making it easier for a man to know where to target. To execute this flawlessly, men will often create a problem or chaos in the relationship and leave it to the woman to bring the calm—the finances, the stability, the solutions.

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A man with a heavy gambling addiction may rely on his wife to work three jobs to help pay down his debt so his credit will look good enough for them to buy a home. A home she has no problem putting the down payment on, yet she still adds him to the deed and the mortgage. This is for social status and the image of being a “power couple,” when behind closed doors, she is the breadwinner. Men purposely seek out women like this, and many of them succeed in finding her.

She isn’t hard to spot either. One dinner, one night out, and if she’s offering to pay the tip or speaking highly of her career and accomplishments, then it’s hook, line, and sinker. Men are not intimidated by successful women. They simply don’t care for them because they can be controlling, and a masculine man is not seeking a problem solver. He’s seeking a woman who needs her problems solved.

by Danielle Wright