Valentine’s Day Without a Plus-One: Why Being Single Is the Real Love Story

Whilst enjoying my morning routine at the gym and then the dog park with my beloved baby girl, I stumbled upon a comment online that read, “If we watched Sex and the City from Mr. Big’s point of view, it would be a horror movie.” Let me tell you—I let out the loudest laugh, now known to all canines. The video responsible for my belly laugh was a collection of scenes from the treasured series of Carrie… well, chasing Mr. Big.
During my time as an undergrad, my roommate would have that show on repeat, and never—not once—did I care for it. I did not get the appeal until Valentine’s Day. On Lovers’ Day, my roommate suggested that we have a night in since we were both single and had no plans. And you guessed it—she wanted us to watch Sex and the City. So I did what any good roommate would do: I put on my Victoria’s Secret Pink pajamas and climbed next to her in that twin-sized bed. There we lay, snuggled together like platonic lovers.
Little did I know that show would change my life—but I will admit, not in the best way. Carrie Bradshaw gives hope to all of us lover girls when it comes to that one guy who is emotionally unavailable. She went through hell and back to convince him that she was good enough. And you know what? It wasn’t until I was older that I learned why. Their first encounter—the very first moment they locked eyes—was after he accidentally bumped into her, causing her bag to spill open, exposing its contents, some of which were condoms.
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That moment did it. It flipped something in him, immediately making him view her as a promiscuous single woman in the big city who didn’t need love—she needed a companion. A man with money, single, disinterested in long-term commitment, Mr. Big decided, Well, why not? And thus, the series unfolds. John James Preston, a.k.a. Mr. Big, never intended to take Carrie seriously. But what women are learning now—what my roommate and I, back then, only saw as the perfect love story—is that Mr. Big and Carrie were a toxic couple.
It’s 2025, and everything is exposed now that everyone wants to have a podcast or label themselves a relationship guru—giving advice on apps like TikTok and going live to answer women’s questions about their beaus. Relationship advice is readily available, but so are men’s true intentions and the strategies they use when they have no real interest in taking a woman seriously.
Back then, we had to experience pain to learn from it. Now, you can learn without the firsthand experience—or at least gain enough insight to know what to expect, making you less likely to be blindsided when heartbreak inevitably comes knocking at your door. Women today are better equipped to handle disappointment when it comes to the opposite sex, which is why holidays like Valentine’s Day seem to be slowly losing their appeal.
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Everything about having a man is transactional, and women will always pay—with their body, their mental health, or both.
Do we want the men in our lives to put in the massive effort of asking us to be their Valentine? Yes and no. On one hand, it’s cute—it shows he’s making an effort. But on the other hand, if he doesn’t do it, we’re left with our thoughts and all the advice we’ve consumed about what a lack of effort means from a man, making the entire experience less enjoyable. Not only that, but so many women feel tempted to share their experiences online—something that, at one point, might have been met with love and admiration. Now, however, it’s often met with judgment, financial criticism, and even the possibility of another woman sliding into your messages to come to you as a woman.
So, is spending Valentine’s Day without a male plus one really that bad?
Of course, the answer is subjective. Many of us still dream of a happy ending, especially those of us in our 30s and approaching 40. But the real question is: Can you put a price tag on peace? Lately, I’ve begun to understand some of the many reasons women today settle or put themselves in uncomfortable situations for the sake of financial security. The economy is struggling, and everyone is craving external validation—either to (a) further inflate their narcissistic ego or (b) heal their broken inner child, who once had to go without and was likely bullied at a young age.
Take Baddies, for example—a show that has built its reputation on degrading, humiliating, and outright exploiting Black and Brown women on a public platform to generate revenue. These same women then turn around and use that money to buy wigs, clothes, and external validation from strangers—and maybe even potential suitors who will entertain them for no reason other than having a warm bed to sleep in at night. These women have undoubtedly placed a price on their peace—and it’s not that high.
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WHY BEING SINGLE IS THE REAL LOVE STORY

We can look at women like Carrie Bradshaw—call her names, judge her, turn her into memes—but one thing remains true: we’ve all been there. That’s one of the main reasons Sex and the City continues to see such success and transcend generations. Men have found ways to criticize almost everything women do to find happiness in their solitude, with one man even going viral for speaking down on women who choose to spend the holiday hosting a Galentine’s Day event. Nothing women do will ever be enough to appease the soul of an unhealed, jealous man living in his personal hell.
A love story doesn’t have to be between you and a man—it can be between you and the city you love (Season 5, Episode 1: Carrie is dating the city). Holidays should be about spending time with the people you love, those you can call when you’re having a bad day. And for many women, that person is not the man in their lives—it’s a best friend or even a parent.
We must break free from societal norms if we ever want to experience true happiness in this lifetime—the one life we are blessed to have. Why waste it wishing, hoping, and praying for someone to come along who may or may not treat you well 364 days out of the year—or even just 40% of the time—all for the sake of posting a video of yourself walking into a hotel room with a trail of red roses leading to a mattress and gifts? The outcome will be the same, because once you hit post, there’s only one thing left to do: spread your legs—it’s time to repay that man.
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Everything about having a man is transactional, and women will always pay—with their body, their mental health, or both. Valentine’s Day is called Lovers’ Day for a reason, and that means you should be spending it with the person you love the most. And that person should always be you! Buy yourself some candles, grab some popcorn, and if you have a bestie, call her over. Snuggle together like the platonic lovers you are, find a good movie to watch, and laugh the night away.
Your love story starts with you—celebrate the woman you are, the dreams you chase, and the love you pour into yourself. This Valentine’s Day, be your own greatest romance.
by Lisa K. Stephenson