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Dating Without a Car - Is It a Good Idea?

by Haleigh Couture

Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR from Pexels


So, you like this guy. He’s perfect in every way, but there’s just one slight problem—he can’t drive. Your first date comes around and like the young, beautiful, independent woman you are, you look forward to him being a gentleman and offering to pick you up. Except, you’re the one stuck having to swing by his place to pick him up.



Even if the date goes well, could you see yourself dating someone who doesn’t drive? Being his chauffeur is not something you find appealing. If anything, you find it to be quite emasculating for him. So, is it a good idea to date someone who can’t drive?

Let’s face it, in today’s modern world, a car is not only a necessity but it can also reflect a means of independence. If your man doesn’t have a car or rather a lack of motivation to eventually start acting like a mature adult, then maybe rethinking your decision to date him is best. You don’t need to be rude and judge him, but just understand that you are looking for a partner on your level.


It may sound materialistic, but honestly, if he doesn’t match your energy level by bringing the same intentions to the relationship, then you don’t need him. And yes, we are talking about owning a vehicle. He’s a man, he shouldn’t have to rely on you or others to chauffeur his adult arse around.

 
 

Not only is his inability to drive unattractive, it actually can indicate other potential relationship deficiencies such as commitment issues, lack of responsibility, and even low self-esteem. If he can’t even commit to owning and maintaining the upkeep of a vehicle, what makes you think he’s ready to commit to you? Your relationship is not like paying off a monthly car payment, but it does require upkeep. If he can’t put in the effort here as a functioning adult, he won’t be able to in the relationship either.


Lack of responsibility is pretty obvious—perhaps he’s someone who likes to have little to no responsibilities. In this case, he could be someone who likes to take advantage of others. He is relying on you and using you. Even if he offers to pay for the gas, what’s the point? The relationship can quickly become a crutch for him to mooch. If he’s not willing to get his life together and grow up, what exactly is he contributing to your life?

You can gauge this for yourself when you decide whether or not to date him, but reading his confidence level will be transparent. If he is someone who lacks responsibility, that probably means he also has little to no aspirations for his future. Where are his goals and ambitions? I mean, it’s not like he can drive himself to his job.


Related articles: How to Date An Introvert


This leads to the next point, if he doesn’t live in an urban area where public transit is the norm and the main source for transportation, then you know he can’t manage to get anywhere without the help of others. This is not an independent man and as an independent woman, you need your equal.

There are obvious factors that could explain why he can’t drive. Perhaps he has a medical condition which impairs his ability to receive a driver's license and therefore he can’t drive. In that case, you will learn quickly of the situation and can accommodate as you see fit.


However, if it all comes down to just him practically being a bum, then that’s for you to decide whether to involve yourself with someone like that. The man you are pursuing should be able to show up and meet your expectations. But he can’t drive, so how will he show up?

 

Sources:

Eppes, Jasmine. “Here's Why You Should Never Date a Guy Who Doesn't Have A Car.” Bolde, 13 Aug. 2019, www.bolde.com/never-date-guy-doesnt-have-car/#:~:text=If%20you%20live%20in%20a%20major%20city%20with,guy%20without%20one%20is%20a%20big%20no-no.%20

Muiruri, Anne. “Why Dating a Man Who Does Not Drive Is a Turn Off.” Eve Woman, The Standard Group PLC, 17 July 2017, www.standardmedia.co.ke/evewoman/general/article/2001247909/why-dating-a-man-who-does-not-drive-is-a-turn-off

2 Comments


There are are some reasons in which a man unable to drive a car might be a red flag, such as a DUI or suspended license. That's totally and completely acceptable. But what's not acceptable is turning down a guy who can't drive because of a medical issue. Folks with my condition are much more likely to drive dangerously. According to a Harvard study, there's a 62% higher rate of injury crashes among the drivers that have my condition. I also have a huge fear of car crashes. It's not worth it to me to take the risk.

And, I might add, it has absolutely ZERO bearing on my maturity or ability to conduct myself as a responsible adult.


It's…


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Thank you so much! You've just confirmed everything I've suspected. I've been dating a while, and in my years I've accomplished a lot. I've earned two medical licenses, visited seven countries, lost 90 lbs., and learned a musical instrument. I've never cheated on a girlfriend and always treated dates with total respect. But relationships never last and I've always suspected the real reason why: I'm not allowed to drive because of a medical issue.


Ninety-nine percent of the time, my issue is totally unnoticeable. But legally I can not drive. And I do everything in my power to compensate. I work remotely, I've made wise investments, I order drivers, and I get things delivered to make life easier. So does…


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