by Jeanine Dorrough
The stigma surrounding women with a lot of sexual experience is intense and long-lasting. Men and women love sex equally, yet for a woman to have a lot of it is frowned upon. Men want women who know what they’re doing, yet cannot come to terms with the fact that it takes practice to get there. If men want talent in the sheets, they need to be able to accept that it comes from experience in the streets.
I do not care to mention the exact number of times I have heard men utter the phrase, “A key that can open many locks is called a master key, but a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock,” but rest assured I have heard it way too many times. Not only is it mind-bogglingly stupid, but it is also infuriating. We are human beings, not keys and locks.
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We are in 2021 now, not 1821. Our ‘virtue’ is no longer a possession that our father sells to the most suitable bidder. It never should have been, but gladly that tradition ended long ago. So why do men still try to label a woman with a long sexual history as lesser than? If a man tries to make you feel like you should feel guilty for having sex before you knew they even existed, you need to run.
Women are not meek creatures who need to shy away from men or sex. We are strong, independent, and beautiful beings. Why should we not embrace it, is it to keep men from being uncomfortable or intimidated? A real man won’t care. A man who respects women and their right to their body, will not have an issue with your previous intimacy.
Women have no reason to be ashamed of doing what makes them happy, whatever that may be. The stigma around women with high body counts is an attempt at suppression. Why shouldn’t women be able to have just as much fun as guys? To make men feel more important and comfortable? No thank you. If a man is wary of your sexual history, be wary of his. The hypocrisy of this subject matter will only come to an end if we make it end.
The same goes for women, don’t be intimidated or worried by a higher body count. Even if you’re inexperienced, if your partner is experienced, it’ll be enjoyable for you both! And if it’s something else that worries you about high body counts, just remember that you’ve both made a consensual choice to be together in whatever capacity that may be. Don’t get in your head, just enjoy it! A woman’s body count does not matter (and really, neither should a man’s). If he asks what your number is, give an honest answer! If he is uncomfortable with it, remind him that the past is the past. That you chose to be with him. If he can’t accept that and get over his discomfort, he doesn’t deserve you. Whether your number is low or high, it should not be the concern of any man you’re seeing.
While the phrase, “the past is the past,” seems like a cop-out at times, on this occasion it's true. As long as you aren’t increasing your number while in a monogamous relationship, you can have all the sex you want. Feeling guilty or ashamed of the number of men you have slept with is a feeling of the past. It is time for women to live their lives unashamed!
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