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Is Dry Humping Better than Sex?

Updated: May 2

by Kimberly Delarosa

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Sex can be a romantic sensual encounter, but it can also be spontaneous and fun. We can experience pure passion, sexual lust, and if you’re a teenager, total awkwardness. In every young adults’ rite of passage, teenagers are required to attend the standard sex seminar where they’re taught about safe sex. They’re also given a list of strategies on how to explore their sexual desires without actually taking their pants off. The list—from when I recall when I was in high school—consisted of things like dirty talk, masturbation, and dry humping.


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When you hear dry humping, your mind immediately goes to an image of a dog humping someone’s leg. Dry humping—or “outercourse”—has always been considered a childlike stepping stone of sexual exploration; something that you grow out of once you transition from adolescence into adulthood. Yet researchers believe that dry humping can not only be used in our current sex life, but it might be more stimulating than the act of sex itself.


“In some people's experience, dry humping is a safer, more protected way to experience intimacy between two individuals,” says Laura Louis, a licensed psychologist from Atlanta Couple Therapy. “For people who just started dating or for couples who have recently had a child, dry humping can be equally as pleasurable as sex.” Dry humping can build desire within a relationship while still maintaining intimacy. It allows couples the chance to become sexually comfortable with one another and reduce anxiety. So, is dry humping better than sex? “It stimulates the other erogenous zones and simulates sex without particular risks and still makes it enjoyable and satisfying for couples without penetration,” says Prismila De Gusman Kristensen, co-founder, and CEO of Philippines company NOTI.


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Surprisingly, dry humping can sometimes feel more satisfying than intercourse, particularly for women. Sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger has helped couples in this area for over 13 years. She states that women who incorporate dry humping into their sex life have more pleasurable experiences. “Dry humping is a great friction builder, especially for the clitoris, which often doesn't get enough stimulation for climax during intercourse,” she says. “It also aids in other factors. Say when one or more partners has a yeast infection or UTI and has been instructed not to engage in sexual activity, dry humping is usually an acceptable alternative to intercourse.” Having intercourse isn’t the only way to be intimate with your partner.

Now this concept of dry humping in our dating life may seem exciting and great for people who are dating. However, when it comes to couples who have been with one another for a long time, can dry humping add some spice back into the relationship? The answer to that is, yes! This is true especially if you don’t feel as sexy as you use to. “Insecurities about your body can sometimes inhibit libido or ability to orgasm,” says Conger, which can increase in long-term relationships. Once the romance is fading and it now requires work, couples often feel like there might be something wrong. Dry humping can bring a new sense of excitement to your relationship. It can be used as foreplay or a tease to enhance the sexual urge you may miss.


If you do want to incorporate this with your partner, it’s always best to talk it out and give it a try. It’s often said that couples who do things together stick together. In fact, research has shown that dry humping and masturbation are part of many couple’s sexual repertoires. So, in reality, dry humping is more common in relationships than you might have assumed it to be.


As a woman, it’s fascinating now to see how individuals and couples can create their own rules on sex and intimacy. Sex which was once a taboo subject is now open for discussion (both positively and negatively). Yet having honest conversations about sex allows others to get the right information on safe sex. Whether it’s kissing or dry humping, having an open and honest conversation about sex with your partner will always lead to a better and more satisfying sexual experience.

Resources:

Laura Louis, Licensed Psychologist at Atlanta Couple Therapy

https://www.atlantacoupletherapy.com/


Prismila De Gusman Kristensen, co-founder, and CEO of NOTI

https://noti.ph/


Indigo Stray Conger, LMFT, CST

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/indigo-stray-conger-lmft-cst/