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Men's Relationship Coaching vs. Traditional Therapy: Which Is Right for You?

by Danielle Wright & Stetson Dean, LMFT

When it comes to mental health, men are much less likely to seek help as it is often seen as a trivial matter.


In the United States alone, the suicide rate among men is 3.5 times higher than that of women. In 2021, the rate of suicide among men was 22.8 per 100,000 population, the highest recorded over the past almost 70 years, according to Statista. There are at least six reasons why men opt to take their own lives, and we’re going to break down each one and which treatment is best: a men’s relationship coach or traditional therapy.


MENTAL HEALTH DISORDERS –

Mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder, to name a few, are some of the most common reasons for men to contemplate suicide. Depression could be linked to a number of things such as home life, financial stress, or isolation. According to asfg.org, American Indian males have the highest suicide rates due to excessive individualism.


Simply put, this is one’s dependence on and commitment to the tribal community giving way to increasing dependence on a single romantic partner. For Native American men, they are more likely to attempt suicide if they cannot find a partner to be linked to romantically within their tribe or community. But this is not the easiest thing to achieve, considering the suicide rate among women has increased by 139% since 1999.


Native American women are more prone to committing or attempting suicide than men, and in this case, it’s best to seek traditional therapy. Traditional therapy can help uncover those underlying issues you may be facing and resolve them by providing alternate solutions. If marrying a woman in your community is not feasible, then it could be a good idea to consider outside options, even if this means going against the grain.


SUBSTANCE ABUSE –

Substance abuse is prevalent among men who die by suicide, as it can exacerbate mental health issues, impair judgment, and lead to impulsive behavior. We see this often in African American communities, where children as young as twelve may begin to indulge in substance abuse due to distributing it for profit in an attempt to take care of their families.


Harvard Medical School reports that men of all ages are three times more likely than women to use marijuana every day. Poverty-stricken neighborhoods are notorious for having a multitude of liquor stores all within one mile of each other. This increases the likelihood that men will indulge, which can lead to physical abuse, depression, and suicide attempts.


Not only that, but alongside these liquor stores are fast-food shops where the food is not healthy and is prepared quickly without proper ingredients. With these factors in mind, traditional therapy is always going to be a good idea, but for men who are destitute, they may see this as an unnecessary added expense. However, it’s quite the contrary, as therapy can help to educate these men on the importance of changing their environment so as to change their eating habits and substance addiction.

Related articles: Rebound Relationship Stages


SOCIAL ISOLATION –

Men who lack strong social connections or feel isolated are at a higher risk for suicide, similar to those who undergo a divorce and struggle with the emotional fallout from the end of the relationship. It may seem like men don’t stress over relationships once they have ended, but they do, just like women. However, the difference is that most men are not given the emotional outlets that women have access to. Friendships between men differ greatly from those of women because they often have surface-level relationships—they do not delve deep into emotional conversations or allow themselves to be vulnerable around one another for fear of being seen as weak.


“As a Black man, I cannot take a chance on not having friends,” one man said. It is believed that friendships help men better navigate adolescence and adulthood, which often leads them to have discussions with their friends regarding the women in their lives. For many immature men, they will lean heavily on the approval of their friends for validation. If the validation is not there, it’s not unlikely that a man will begin to mistreat the women in his life.


In such cases, a men’s relationship coach is needed. “I’ve coached men for over thirteen years, and one thing I can confidently say is that until a man is ready to remove himself from his friends and cling to his wife and/or partner, he will never allow himself to access the tools necessary to be a protector and provider within his own home,” Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Stetson Dean shares.


“A man who still requires protection and validation from his friends cannot possibly protect and validate the woman in his life. If you notice that the man you’re dating has an obsession with being around his friends and not you, it’s likely because he’s immature and still leans on them for external support and safety.”


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