Updated: Sep 17
Photography by itsjonas.mg
It’s been weeks, months maybe, and then it happened, your ex has finally unblocked you on everything! Now you’re wondering why did my ex unblock me? Or my ex unblocked me!
Yes, my friend, they did, that happened. Two things I am going to cover here, (1) you were the dumper and your ex blocked you so they can move on and heal. (2) you were dumped and were blocked by your ex because you were being emotionally immature about the breakup.
So, why did your ex unblock you if you were the one who dumped them? When a breakup first happens, emotions are all over the place, it is fair to say that the dumper usually had more time to process their emotions than the person being dumped, hell, 90% of the time the person being dumped didn’t see it coming. Now, they have little to no time to emotionally accept these new changes. This can be tough because then ego steps in, pleading, bargaining and not wanting to face the fact that they have been REJECTED! You’re leaving them for someone else, maybe another boyfriend or girlfriend or maybe even yourself. But all in all, you’re leaving! Person A (person dumped) needs to come to terms with this and it’s hard for them to do so when they see you gallivanting and living your perfect life filled with laughs and no care for the tears rolling down their cheeks, it breaks their heart into a million little pieces.
Many people have come to label the art of blocking an ex as truly weak, an unnecessary act that will only lead to mixed emotions when the inevitable happens, we unblock them…but here’s our take on it at She’s SINGLE, block, block, block and block some more! It is your life and you have the right to be sad, broken and in mourning, this requires separation of all kind from your past. Blocking an ex and unfriending mutual friends is all apart of the process of healing and falls right in line with the ‘No Contact’ rule. If you’re not supposed to be contacting your ex and you should be making an effort to move on then why is blocking so demonized? Exes have a strange way of living with us forever and so, blocking them is only temporary relief but a necessary one. You don’t need to see what they’re up to every day, who they’re dating now, how they’re coping with the breakup, you need to re-center, and refocus your energy on yourself. When you decide to unblock an ex after processing the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance you can look towards a brighter future. Letting go of past aggression means finally being able to unblock that ex, their livelihood no longer affecting you. This will, in turn, leave a dumper to wonder, why did they unblock me? This is perfectly fine, leave them to wonder, it’s no big deal. However, do not initiate contact! Maintain your composure and a strong sense of self, do not undo all of the hard work you’ve spent weeks, months, maybe even years accomplishing.
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You will always care for your ex this is no secret, but it’s important to remember that even if you want your ex back, they won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself and maintain your high value. You see, men love in your absence while women love in your presence. The longer you’ve stayed away has raised your value in his/or her eyes, making you somewhat mysterious to them now and intrigued by you and your sudden decision to unblock them. Are you going to speak? Do you want them back? Have you moved on? Do you still love them? Are all some of the questions they’re going to be asking themselves, but even if you intend to rekindle the old flame, you do not make the first move. Stay strong.
Now, what if you were dumped AND blocked by your ex and after some time, they’ve unblocked you? In this case, I have to say the answer can sometimes be as black and white as this: they want you back or they are DYING to know how you’ve been getting along without them. The path of least resistance is going back to an ex for many men, it is an easy way to feed their ego while still playing the field, they know they left you all broken and distraught and the mere inkling of their interest in you will no doubt send you flying back into their arms even if they have ZERO intentions on getting back with you. Here’s our take, do not engage. Send them packing, they have to leave you alone! If an ex left you for another woman or left you period, they didn’t see something in you that was worth fighting for. If they didn’t see it then, they won’t see it now and it makes no sense giving into them to feed their ego.
Sure, your ex thought of you and decided to reopen the lines of communication, but what if they say absolutely nothing to you even after unblocking you? Now you’re left to wonder why and spend hours upon hours searching for possible reasons from strangers because you can’t necessarily approach them and ask. However, we want you to remove that thought from your mind, if an ex broke up with you, played games with you and has now unblocked you only to remain silent, ask them, “What do you want?” You’re strong and no longer have to feel vulnerable. You’re living your life and being good to yourself, you deserve to continue to grow and prosper without a toxic ex hovering over you.
You can also decide you’re not going to speak and simply block them to continue making progress in your life and growing. The ball is in your court, you’re confident enough to know better and if you find that you’re not ready then do not engage. If you need additional time, block them and take it. Men go after who and what they want, always, so you will never have to guess where you stand with someone truly interested in you. He will always be sure to show you and tell you.
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