She's Single: What Kristy Scott and Desmond's Divorce Tell Us About Passive Breakup Behavior

TMZ broke the news that social media influencer Kristy Scott and her husband, Desmond Scott, have officially announced their divorce. Kristy Scott filed citing infidelity, sending the internet into a frenzy. While some people are writing think pieces and speculating about their marriage and who Desmond may have cheated with, the soon-to-be ex-husband took to Instagram to share his own statement. The post touched on several points, but it was paragraph three that stood out most:

“Kristy and I faced challenges and made sincere efforts to work through them. Toward the end of 2025, I wanted to separate, and I had conversations with Kristy regarding this. During this period, I made choices that I am not proud of. I took responsibility for those actions, shared this with her directly and personally, and ultimately, we decided to divorce.”

There is a lot to unpack here. While there is no single formal label for this behavior, several terms and psychological explanations can help describe what appears to have taken place. One of the most common questions fans and spectators are asking is, “If he was unhappy and wanted to separate, why didn’t he just file for divorce first?” We see this question arise repeatedly, from Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s divorce announcement to Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker. The underlying question remains the same: if the man is unhappy, why doesn’t he simply leave?

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First, there is RELATIONSHIP EXIT AVOIDANCE. This is an informal but widely used concept referring to people who want out of a relationship but avoid directly ending it. Instead, they disengage, behave poorly, or create conditions that push the other person to leave.

Next is PASSIVE BREAKUP BEHAVIOR. This describes someone who ends a relationship indirectly. Cheating, emotional withdrawal, increased criticism, or neglect are ways a person effectively outsources the breakup to their partner.

Another commonly discussed term in relationship psychology is PUSH-OUT CHEATING. This refers to infidelity that functions less as a pursuit of intimacy and more as a strategy to destabilize the relationship so the partner will end it.

So why do these patterns appear more frequently in men? The answer is largely rooted in social conditioning. Many men are taught from a young age to avoid emotional expression, to view direct rejection as cruelty, and to rely on women for emotional labor. Ending a relationship is often framed as a personal failure rather than a choice. Women, on average, are more likely to process dissatisfaction verbally before leaving, while men are more likely to act it out.

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As a whole, this behavior signals emotional immaturity, poor communication skills, avoidance of accountability, and an inability to tolerate discomfort. In simple terms, the underlying mindset is often: “If I don’t say it out loud, I don’t have to own it.” We often hear men say, “I didn’t break up our family, she did.” They create chaos until the other person does the hard part for them.

When a man, especially one in the public eye, wants to end a relationship, he often thinks about his image and how to preserve it. Men, as a group, are naturally self-interested and tend to strongly identify with being the “good guy” or avoiding being seen as the villain. By behaving poorly until the woman leaves, they can intentionally frame the breakup as something that happened to them rather than something they caused.

This is also one reason many men avoid marriage. It is not because “marriage is just a piece of paper,” but because divorce can tarnish their image and make them feel like a failure. Both outcomes can be avoided by never saying “I do” in the first place. Two other types of men who commonly engage in this behavior are those with avoidant attachment styles and those who desire control without accountability.

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Men with an avoidant attachment style often feel trapped as intimacy deepens. They struggle to articulate emotional dissatisfaction, pull away instead of communicating, and use infidelity or emotional distancing as escape mechanisms. These men are usually easy to spot during the dating stage. If you marry this type, mistreatment often becomes a signal that they want out, without communication or accountability. This brings us to the second type.

Men who resist taking responsibility for their actions may push their partner to end the relationship so they can retain control over timing and outcomes without owning the decision. Lastly, some men do not want the relationship but also do not want to lose the benefits that come with it. Cheating allows them to explore alternatives while keeping the existing relationship intact until it collapses. Lisa K. Stephenson refers to this as the rebound remedy, when a man “monkey swings” from one woman to the next.

What is important to note is this: women need to be aware of the signs. You do not need to become harsher or leave at the first inconvenience, but you should have a strong sense of independence before entering a relationship. Doing so creates space for honest conversations and helps you accept outcomes rather than fight against them.

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In his statement, Desmond Scott said, “Toward the end of 2025, I wanted to separate, and I had conversations with Kristy regarding this.” That should have been the end of it. Hard stop. The fact that his statement continued suggests she may not have been willing to accept his request at face value and may have wanted to work on the marriage or resist the separation altogether. Either way, she positioned herself as someone afraid to leave, while he positioned himself as someone willing to do whatever was necessary to exit. Men almost always tell on themselves. Listen, and take their words at face value.

by Danielle Wright