What the Epstein Files Teach Us About Theory of Mind in Children
On January 30, 2026, the Department of Justice released more than 30 million files related to the Jeffrey Epstein case. After some digging, many familiar names were mentioned, including rapper Jay-Z, businessman Howard Lutnick, and New York Giants chairperson Steve Tisch, among others. However, it was one comment on X that truly stood out to me: “If the Epstein files were not released, we would not have believed the women who made it abundantly clear that they were victims.” We saw a similar mindset reflected in the Diddy case, where one juror stated that he had no sympathy for Cassie because she kept going back and therefore must have “liked” what was happening to her.
Survivor invalidation refers to dismissing or minimizing a victim’s lived experience, credibility, or emotional reality. It often overlaps with victim blaming and is deeply flawed because it ignores factors such as trauma bonding, financial or housing dependence, fear of retaliation, and psychological conditioning. This led me to think about theory of mind and its correlation to victims in cases involving Epstein and Diddy, as well as why it is often difficult to get the public to side with victims in cases like these. Too often, victims are discredited based on the belief that they “enjoyed” time spent with their abuser or only chose to speak out once the circumstances were no longer beneficial to them.
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The term “theory of mind” originated in cognitive science and psychology in the late 1970s. It was first introduced by researchers studying whether chimpanzees could attribute mental states to others. Shortly after, developmental psychologists began applying the concept to children by asking a simple but profound question: when do children realize that other people do not know what they know? One of the most influential tools used to study this was the false-belief task, which tests whether a child understands that someone else can hold an incorrect belief about the world. Most typically developing children pass this test between the ages of four and five.
In early childhood, children are naturally egocentric. This does not mean they are selfish or uncaring. Rather, it means they genuinely assume others see, feel, and know the same things they do. As theory of mind develops, children begin to understand that others can have different thoughts and feelings, distinguish between accidental harm and deliberate harm, and grasp concepts such as deception, sarcasm, and secrecy. This developmental shift is critical for social learning. It allows children to form relationships, resolve conflict, and develop empathy. This is why it is often easier for predators to harm children and later follow up with, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that to you.” A child will naturally forgive, believing the harm was simply a mistake or a lack of understanding, when in reality that is not the case.
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Their intelligence was not only used to earn money, but also to mentally, physically, and emotionally abuse children for their own gratification.
When development is disrupted and children are exposed to chronic stress, abuse, emotional neglect, or inconsistent caregiving, theory of mind development can take a different path. Hyper-mentalization can occur, in which children become overly focused on reading others’ moods and intentions as a survival strategy. This was evident in the account shared by Virginia Giuffre, who described moments of lying with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, believing they were simply laughing, joking, or watching television together, only to be abruptly instructed to perform a sexual act on one or both of them. Her nervous system was never regulated. This is one reason she can recount the experience so vividly. She existed in a constant state of hyper-mentalization, and moods and emotional cues are not things the brain easily forgets.
This disruption often forces children to mature too quickly and appear hyper-aware, but that awareness is rooted in fear rather than healthy curiosity. In other cases, development may be delayed or fragmented. Children may struggle to recognize others’ emotions, misinterpret social cues, or view interactions through a lens of threat rather than shared understanding. When children or young adults who are victims of abuse remain in those environments, it is often because theory of mind has become adaptive in the short term. In settings where caregivers are unpredictable or emotionally and physically unsafe, children may learn that understanding others is necessary for survival, even at the expense of understanding themselves.
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This is where excessive people-pleasing begins and where victims may extend grace to their abusers by assuming responsibility for others’ emotions. This disruption often results in children developing too much empathy, empathy that is then directed toward their abusers. It helps explain why some victims remain with those who harm them and why abusers frequently target younger children. Over time, victims can be conditioned to see themselves as the problem and adjust their behavior to accommodate the abuser, allowing the abuse to continue.
One of the most shocking and disturbing aspects of the names appearing in these files is not simply that they belong to wealthy individuals. It is that these are people with the education, intelligence, and knowledge required to amass such wealth. Their intelligence was not only used to earn money, but also to mentally, physically, and emotionally abuse children for their own gratification.
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Theory of mind is not merely a childhood milestone that some children are forced to reach in the presence of abusers. It is the lens through which many people continue to interpret the world long after childhood ends. When we look at these women today and ask, “Why did she stay?” or “Why is she only speaking out now?” we must understand that disruptions to theory of mind cannot simply be undone.
Later experiences, including therapy, stable relationships, and reflective practices, can help individuals recalibrate how they interpret others’ thoughts and feelings, but this process takes time. Instead of discrediting these women, we should be standing with them and recognizing the bravery and strength it takes to survive what often feels nearly impossible to overcome.
We see you.
We hear you.
by Harley Miller
Image Credit: ABC News
