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How to Take Yourself on a Date

by Jeanine Dorrough

Photo by Elina Sazonova from Pexels

Remembering that you are enough is an important part of everyday life. When it gets difficult to do that, try to go on a date—not a date with a man, because that surely will not help the situation in any way. Go out with yourself, and only yourself. This isn’t a girls’ night, this is a ‘you’ night. Allow yourself to recall that you are an independent woman; you do not need to rely on anyone else to make you happy.

Get dolled up, use that shade of eyeshadow you’ve been eying, and slap it on. Wear that dress that you have no occasion to wear. When you look good, you feel good. So, look good! Do it for you, and no one else. It is important to take time for yourself, and that’s the purpose of this date. You will focus on your happiness because you deserve to.


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You may be wondering what you could do on a date by yourself. Think of something that genuinely brings you joy. If you like to read, take yourself to your favorite bookstore. Explore the shelves until you find a chair in a comfortable corner. If they serve coffee, order one. Sit in that cozy corner, drink your coffee or hot chocolate, read your book, and relax into the world of your choice.



Once you have finished with whatever hobby you decide to pursue, take yourself to dinner. You could go to the fanciest restaurant you can afford and treat yourself to their most delicious foods. If you aren’t completely comfortable eating alone at a sit-down dinner restaurant, order something to go from your favorite restaurant and have a little picnic. Enjoy your own company while enjoying some fine food. The goal here is to stay off your phone throughout this experience. You don’t need technology to help you get through the day. You are a beautiful woman who does not need a distraction.

Now it’s that time of the night. If you were on a date with a man, he’d probably say something like, “your place, or mine?” This time, however, you’re going to ask yourself, “Whiskey or wine?” Stop somewhere and buy your favorite drink. Pour yourself a glass as soon as you get home. Put a clay mask on, one that has to sit on your face for at least 20 minutes.

Take your clay face and your glass of wine, and hop into a nice hot bubble bath. Blast your favorite music. Don’t be afraid to play it loud, your neighbors will just have to understand that it’s a self-love kind of night. Relax and enjoy yourself. Sing, read, scroll through social media. Do whatever is going to bring yourself joy, and also remind you that you are capable of being happy on your own.


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If it’s been an especially long week, perhaps you don’t want to play music at all. That’s okay too. If all you need is a little silence, then follow all the steps I previously listed, but sink into the bath and simply tune in to the soft fizzling of the bubbles around you. Trust me, it’s a very relaxing experience. Just let the heat of the bath melt away all of the tension you’ve gained throughout the week.


Even if you don’t follow my instructions exactly, the principle is the same. This should be an empowering experience. The whole purpose of taking yourself on a date is that you can recall that you do not need anyone else to be happy. Loving yourself is a fundamental part of life. If you can’t enjoy time to yourself, loving yourself can be pretty hard, and yet it can be an empowering experience.



Even if you don’t follow my advice, live your life, and do what makes you happy.


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