I had this problem…this exact problem and to be quite honest, I had no idea how to feel about it. It was a strange feeling, waking up to find that my abusive, cheating ex-boyfriend had unblocked me after a year. My initial thought was, he’s back to hurt me again…but then I remembered, nothing can happen without my permission!
The reality is, whatever the reason, it is not good. An ex that dumped you may have had some time to rethink their actions and thus, wants a second chance at hurting you again. This is not because they are cruel, it simply means they are indifferent. Your happiness, sadness, or well-being is of little to no importance to them. There are a few reasons, this may have happened:
1. Your ex is bored! A girlfriend or boyfriend has left them and now they are lonely. There is no real reason to seek you out than to pass the time until better comes along, yet again.
2. Perhaps your ex unblocked you but did not reach out to speak to you. Well, they are wanting to make you jealous somehow, as always, the best solution here is to sit on your hands. Do not engage. The moment you do that is an ego stroke for them and a loss of value for you.
Here at She’s SINGLE no one is going to judge you for wondering why this happened, this is a safe place. While some may ask, why do you care or take the tough love approach, it’s belittling and rude at best. We want you to understand that whatever you’re feeling is perfectly normal! Wondering why an ex may look to unblock you after all this time is not something to be ashamed of. Some other reasons to take into account…
3. You’re just irreplaceable. Don’t get too happy just yet because the question is, what is it about you that they can’t seem to find elsewhere? If it’s your bedroom abilities then run for the hills! A man returning because he can’t find another woman to do that thing you do behind closed doors is at best never going to re-commit to you.
4. They’ve simply decided blocking you is unnecessary.
Related articles: What Does it Mean When an Ex Unblocks You on Social Media?
Related articles: My Ex Left Me for Someone Else
We caught up with some guys whose names have been changed to protect their privacy to give us the scoop on why they’ve unblocked an ex…
Gary, IN “I would unblock my ex because I’ve moved on. The past is in the rear-view mirror for me.”
Al, NY “I would unblock my ex because I wanted them to contact me…”
Jerome, NY “Wanted to see if she moved on. If not, I would ask her to be a friend with benefits.”
Jonathan W, TX “Stop thinking so much into it. I unblocked my ex because I was moved on and happy with my new life. No care if she contacts me, I will gladly exchange a few words, tell my current gf of course, and then go on about my life. Not a big deal.”
So that’s the worst of it, but let’s say your ex unblocked you after a year AND has reached out to you… here are some tips on how to handle that:
1. Don’t speak too much about the past, keep the conversation light. If your ex has unblocked you and decided to make contact it is because he/she is willing to be amicable and enough time has passed for them to see your value.
2. Try not to engage right away. Give it some time between messages and texts before replying. Do not agree to hang out or meet up the first time around.
You may be wondering why it isn’t a good idea to meet up with your ex. Well, the answer is simple, you need to continue keeping the focus on yourself and regaining your confidence. Otherwise, depending on what he or she may say you could come completely undone again and revert to the person he/she left in the first place. You want to keep things in your control for as long as you can.
Our recommendation is to not look about hanging out with your ex until you are sure you can be their friend, JUST A FRIEND. No sex. If you are not comfortable speaking with your ex about their new relationship, their dating life, or new women they may be interested in pursuing then you should continue on your journey of healing…alone.
Once you are capable of maintaining a friendship, and you can both co-exist on social media platforms without the need to block or unblock one another, then it may be safe to plan a time to meet and catch up.
Related articles: How to Love Yourself and Be Confident
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