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How to Get Over a Cheating Husband While Pregnant

by Danielle Wright

Pregnancy is challenging, and navigating the betrayal of a spouse simultaneously can push even the sanest woman to the edge. Last night, I sat down to watch Lifetime’s Wendy Williams: The Movie, and while many disliked the film—and I can understand why—it covered all the character-building points in her life, including her pregnancy with her son, Kevin Jr.


While pregnant, Wendy dealt with cheating from her ex-husband, Kevin Hunter. He was a serial cheater, and one of the reasons he gave for cheating while she was pregnant and on bed rest after having suffered two miscarriages and a stillborn was, “We haven’t had sex,” which made me ponder, “Does the current condition of wives correlate with men cheating?”


Not long ago, I covered the topic of men being more likely to divorce, cheat on, or separate from their wives if they fall ill or are diagnosed with a medical condition. But did you know that 1 in every 10 men will cheat on his pregnant wife? This statistic has led many women to stand firm on their decision to remain childfree, with one of our Missie Members sharing, “I saw a few examples of what can happen when you have children with the wrong person, and how it can still have a detrimental impact on your life for years after the breakup because of their legal rights to the child.” Another said, “A large part of why I never want kids is that I'll be tied to that man forever, no matter what kind of person he is—no thanks!”


Letting go of the revelation that your partner is cheating or cheated on you during your pregnancy is one of the most heartbreaking experiences. As women, our bodies begin to feel unfamiliar during this time, leading to low self-esteem. When the person you trust and love shows that your current state is no longer appealing or burdensome to them, it takes a toll on both you and your unborn child.


That feeling of despair and then a sudden urge to correct what’s wrong, even when the issues presented are not your fault or within your control, is overwhelming. How selfish can men be, really? There's no way to know for sure if your partner will commit adultery when you're pregnant, and sadly enough, no way to prevent it either. The only thing you can do is make the conscious decision to let it go to avoid dwelling on it and risking complications for both you and the baby.


Make no mistake, you are under no obligation to forgive your spouse; in fact, forgiving them right away is the worst thing you can do. Consider this—your partner has not only betrayed your trust but also made you a single mother against your will. Against your better judgment, you may allow him back into the home and your heart for the sake of not handling a newborn alone, but he's counting on this.


So, what should you do? Pregnancy is not something you have to go through alone; there are online groups like the SSM: Pregnancy Group and Facebook, where women uplift each other daily. You can even connect with other pregnant women in your area to support one another. It may seem daunting at first, but your mental health is crucial as you prepare to raise a human being who will be an asset to this world. It's your time to be selfish.


First things first –

SEEK SUPPORT.

Be sure to surround yourself with trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can provide emotional support and guidance during and after your pregnancy. Never rely solely on a man, regardless of the affiliation, as they tend to center themselves in every aspect of their lives. Once you’re pregnant, there is nothing within your control except your health and that of your child. Treat your husband like a friend, an accessory; do not become too dependent on him and his resources during this time. I know, this sounds counterintuitive because not all men are scumbags, but again, this is the time in your life to be selfish.


PRIORITIZE SELF-CARE.

Focus on your physical and emotional well-being by engaging in activities that promote relaxation and stress relief, such as yoga, meditation, or gentle exercise. While some of these options can be costly, especially when you’re trying to save or your financial situation isn’t the best at the moment, we occasionally partner with yoga facilities to offer single moms or moms in general a chance to experience one month free at select studios in various cities. Who knows, your city may be on the list. We encourage you to check out the bulletin here now and again for some freebies and take advantage—moms need love, too, and not just on holidays.


SET BOUNDARIES.

Learning that your partner has betrayed your trust during the most vulnerable time in your life requires you to keep a level head but have firm boundaries in place. Clearly communicate your needs and expectations to your husband and establish boundaries to protect your emotional health. If needed, consider seeking couples therapy to address trust issues and rebuild your relationship. Not to mention, your husband will respect you for this.


FOCUS ON YOUR BABY.

Redirect your energy toward the arrival of your baby. Nurture your connection with your unborn child through activities like prenatal yoga, journaling, and creating a baby registry. You may also consider staying off social media for a while during this time. Comparison is the thief of joy, and social media apps are known to feed you content based on an algorithm.


If you’ve been searching for anything related to children or babies, then you’re likely to run into some content that leads you down a tunnel of depression. Not only that, but tracking is used on the internet as well, and even if you’re searching for baby clothes, you’re sure to come across some videos and content showcasing the “perfect married life,” which you don’t need right now.


EXPLORE YOUR OPTIONS.

Take time to evaluate your relationship and consider whether staying with your husband is the best decision for you and your child. Explore legal and financial options, and seek guidance from a lawyer or counselor if needed. Regardless of what some may say, you are not stuck in your marriage simply because you’ve had a child or are pregnant.


Starting over is sometimes the healthiest part of being a mother. You get to reinvent yourself and reshape your life your way, without the hassle of having to do the work of two parents, even while still being in your marriage (don’t let that go over your head). We hope this gave you some clear insight on what to do next. Don’t rush your healing.

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