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How to Get Your Husband Back After He Leaves You For Another Woman

by Danielle Wright

This is an interesting topic to cover because we all know by now that most divorces are filed by women. But then there are those cases where the man files, typically because he’s found himself a mistress and is leaving his wife to be with her…literally, that’s about the only reason I can think of.

Take The Betty Broderick Story for example, an American woman who murdered her ex-husband Daniel T. Broderick III and his second wife, Linda Broderick. Most situations are not this extreme, but Betty, after putting Daniel through law school decided to be a stay-at-home wife and raise their (4) children. As time went on, she learned that he was having an affair, Daniel would, later on, leave his wife after ensuring that she would earn next to nothing from him in the divorce. Linda was nearly destitute.

Photo: Courtesy of the USA Network.

When a boyfriend leaves you for somebody else, it can feel devastating, but of course, you will recover. You are not tethered to that person - marital assets, children, investments. Whereas in most marriages, there are things intertwined such as your money, children, homes, etc. It’s safe to say that when a woman initiates a divorce from her husband, she has done some preparations and has checked out emotionally.

Most of these women do not want to remarry, and in other cases, do not wish to be romantically involved with anyone ever again, let alone get their ex-husband. On the other hand, most divorced men will seek a new wife rather quickly.

Related articles: He Cheated...

First, you should ask yourself why you want your ex back. What is it that you miss about him? What was the reason for the divorce, and are you just feeling insecure? It can be a stab to the heart when your significant other leaves you for someone else.

My ex-boyfriend left me for another woman when he found out she was pregnant (yes, he had a baby with her). I'm not sure which was worse: the fact that he got her pregnant, or the fact that he genuinely wanted to be with her. Either way, you need to remove yourself from the situation so you can see it for what it is, without rose-colored glasses. Did your ex-husband leave because he got another woman pregnant? Did he leave because he finds her more attractive?

According to Relationship Coach and Author, Lisa K. Stephenson, “Most women are sad when a significant other decides to leave because they’ve allowed themselves to become complacent in the relationship. In other words, if you stay market ready, you don’t have to get market ready.

I believe that when a woman or man is in a relationship for a long time they let themselves go—this could be as simple as no longer going to the gym, and no longer getting their hair done or nails. Men are attracted to women by their appearance. Love is beautiful, but you should keep him on his toes. The consequences of this complacency are oftentimes losing your spouse to a younger, more attractive woman.”

Men are not fools, they are aware that their partner is going to age with time, as will they. But make no mistake if he is going to the gym and wearing new cologne and spending his money on a new vehicle, then that is your cue to spice things up for yourself also. If he makes a hasty decision to leave the ball is not in your court to repair things.

Most men, with time, will realize that they had something wonderful. They will begin to miss you and soon enough will come around to repairing things on their own. Your sole priority should be yourself and your children if you have any.

Men have admitted to regretting leaving their wives for someone else after she’s taken care of herself:

  • Going to the gym regularly

  • Not remaining bitter—co-parenting without being argumentative

  • Maintaining a good relationship with his family

  • Not turning the children against him

  • Having her independence—successful in her own right

  • Dating and showing signs of moving on

Those are usually the things men aim to see when they’ve decided to leave their wives or family behind for someone else.

“People are not property. Married or not, we have to get used to the idea that some people are only meant to be in our lives for a season. Once we begin to view people as such and not something to own, the quicker we will be able to excuse ourselves from relationships that no longer serve us,” says Lisa.

“As women, we tend to miss red flags—especially in marriages because we think that divorce shouldn’t be an option due to a few minor inconveniences. The thing is, after a while, those things will pile up and before you know it, the ten things you’ve ignored for the sake of keeping your family together can be the one thing your spouse refuses to ignore and he will be the one to pull the plug.”

Betty Broderick was interviewed by Oprah Winfrey, and she admitted to wanting to remain in her marriage despite the allegations of her husband’s affair. True or not, she viewed her marriage as a status symbol and she was willing to forgive him and put it behind her if he had chosen her in the end. The sad truth is, she was desperate for him to return which resulted in him pushing her further away. We know its easier said than done and we know that this is not the advice you want, but it’s the advice you need.

For the sake of your mental health, if a man wants to leave, it's important to give him the space to do so.


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