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What Is A Relationship Coach

by Danielle Wright

Here at She’s SINGLE Magazine we are The Relationship Authority bringing coaches and clients together in one place to help solve everyday relationship issues. Relationship coaching can aid both couples and singles on their quest for finding true love, identifying and negotiating mutual wants, needs, and goals or just finding oneself. There are seven types of singles:

  • Temporarily Single: Someone who is actively seeking a partner and in between relationships

  • Recently Divorced or Widowed: Someone recovering from loss and not ready for a relationship

  • Frustrated Single: Someone who wants a partner but is not able to find one and gives up

  • Passive Single: Someone who wants a relationship but not actively seeking a partner

  • Single But Not Available: Someone who has a self-perception of being single and desires a lasting relationship but is “hooking up” to get their needs met.

  • Busy or Distracted Single: Someone absorbed in being a single parent, career, school, etc. and does not have the time nor the desire for a partner

  • Single by Choice: Someone who has no desire for a partner. Being single is a conscious permanent lifestyle choice for many reasons.

Whatever the reason for seeking advice, a relationship coach can help. As per Christian Jackson, “A relationship coach will focus solely on the connection one has with other people and how to navigate them. For example, addressing dating habits. I will help identify the unhealthy patterns and intervene using evidence-based interventions to address trauma symptoms, up to and including possible pathology, if necessary.

So, while many believe that you have to be in a relationship to see a relationship coach, this is untrue. The best way to prepare for a relationship is to do the work internally and individually, first. You deserve to get what you want. You do not want to settle for less or risk failure, and you are willing to gift yourself with the support and technology needed to ensure success.

According to relationship coach Eduard Andrei Vasile, “We must not forget the passions we have when we enter into a relationship, we must not forget our loved ones and those who have been with us through difficult times. Try to stay connected to your soul and exist separately, not just in a relationship.”

Oftentimes when a single man or woman finds themselves in a romantic relationship they tend to lose a part of who they are to focus primarily on their loved one. This can be frustrating and should be avoided at all costs. Your individuality matters and this is another reason why a relationship coach can be necessary as you take on this journey to navigate singledom leading to a romantic relationship if that is your desire.

As Stephanie Mintz states, “I talk to my clients about how there are 5 categories of time in a relationship and they are all important. One of those categories is “individual” time. It may sound counterintuitive when thinking about a relationship, but it is incredibly important. We are still an individual, even when in a relationship, and we need to continue to grow, learn, and have experiences. This is what makes us more interesting to ourselves, to our partner, and is a healthy part of life. “Individual” time can be with family, friends, activities with other people or on your own, reading, or even sleeping.”

Related articles: Will I Ever Get Married?

Related articles: Toxic Codependency

Once you have identified which type of single you are you can then take the next step in self-improvement. Relationships do not have to simply be romantic; a relationship coach is trained to aid you in other areas as well. Melissa Maxx adds, “The four types of relationships are: family, friendships, romantic, and coworkers.”

A life coach can also be beneficial, but with coaches like Melissa, it is possible to obtain coaching that can play well into any area of your life consisting of the aforementioned. “In many cases, there is an overlap between life and relationship coaches. I provide tools and techniques that can be of benefit to not only every relationship but all areas of life. Other life coaches may specialize in specific things, like career goals, health, and wellness, accountability. Life coaches who focus on a specialty may or may not help deal with personal relationships.”

Relationship coaches are vital to our community. Learning how to handle relationships beyond that of romance is essential, even if you’re a recently divorced or widowed single, or passively single – maybe the previous relationship ended terribly – the concept of healing after a relationship can, too, require the expertise of a coach. “The first thing to do is accept that the relationship is over. Being in denial is a trauma response that is both a blessing and a curse.

The blessing is that being in denial is our body's way of giving us a chance to numb the discomfort of the breakup. However, we cannot stay in denial for long and therefore the curse is that if we stay there too long, we will have prolonged the opportunity to address the issues that come up after the relationship has ended.

I recommend making sure the person dealing with a breakup has a community that is healthy enough and has space to be a sounding board. This community can be someone they are close to and should likely be someone who understands them so that the person dealing with a breakup can say the unhealthy, unpopular things in the safe space they have created together.” Christian Jackson states.

A community is composed of healthy relationships you have fostered with others that may or may not be romantic. If you have a dedicated relationship coach in your life you can learn new things about yourself and even those around you; build healthy relationships both platonic and romantic and define your type of singledom while becoming equipped with the tools to manage your everyday decisions to achieve your wants and needs.

We are proud to say that the men and women featured in this article are available to help. More information can be found below.

Stephanie Mintz

Melissa Maxx


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