by Kimberly Perez
Knowing whether you will ever get married is a question that many people ask themselves because getting married is a big decision to make. Additionally, marriage can bring a lot of happiness to a person’s life - but it can also put a lot of pressure on people to find the one. Whether you are ready to take the plunge or are single and wondering about the building blocks to a healthy relationship, here are 16 ways to know “Will I ever get married?”
YOU LOVE YOURSELF You must have the self-confidence to ensure that you end up in a healthy and well-balanced relationship. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect someone else to love you in the respectful way that you deserve. Sure, you can ask for your partner's support when you're upset, but as marriage coach Lesli Doares says, "Being married is about joining two lives together, not giving up one. Being content in your skin means you won't be looking to your partner to fill voids in your life." With that in mind, love yourself before you’re ready to love anyone else. #self-love.
YOU BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE
Perhaps one of the single biggest reasons to know whether you will ever get married or not is knowing whether you believe in marriage in the first place. More so is knowing if you want to walk down the aisle with someone one day. Much like wanting to get married, you need to believe in the idea of marriage for it to be an option for you. If you don’t, then the likelihood of you ending up with someone in a marriage is much more diminished than if you do want to get married in the future.
Marriage is not for everyone, and difficulties may arise if your partner believes in marriage, yet you don’t. This may be a difference of opinion that you need to talk through so that you can both be happy in your relationship.
Jessica and Jim know what you’re feeling because they’ve been through it. Both of their unplanned pregnancies quickly devolved into full-out custody battles. They made many rookie mistakes, some costing thousands of dollars in legal fees, but eventually survived as successful co-parents with happy, healthy children.
Baby Out of Wedlock neatly packages all their hard-earned advice into one unique guidebook covering everything that has you worried right now, including when to get a paternity test, where to find a good family law attorney, how custody and child support work, what to expect regarding visitation rights, how to write a bulletproof parenting plan, how to solve future disputes in a timely manner, and many other co-parenting questions you’ve not even thought of yet. Retail: $9.99
This is the effortless way to let go of what or more importantly who is causing you emotional pain. Featured in Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop, Heal Your Relationship Space has helped broken-hearted people all over the world experience healing, and it can help you too.
Are you creating the same relationships over and over again? Will your relationship space be exactly as it is today, tomorrow, next week, or even next year? Does your heart ache from a recent or past break up? Do you want to be in a relationship that makes you happy? Or perhaps the relationship you are in is in need of a little healing? Retail: $25.00
The sexy, the funny, the humiliating, the gross, and a whole lot more!
Karin Freeland: a wife, mother of two, and business professional turned life coach. Why would she ever decide to write The Ins and Outs of My Vagina: A Penetrating Memoir? As she explains, her story is "about growing up and floundering through puberty, learning to experiment sexually, accepting your body, finding love and creating life, and trying your damnedest to have an orgasm before you reach fifty."
Pubic hair. Ovarian cysts. Yeast infections. First period. Roast beef lips. Strange secretions. Burning genitalia. Frat-boy fiascoes. Brazilian wax. Torn labia. The Big O.
For Karin, lady parts are a total mystery, and she doesn't understand why no one ever talks about them or explains the real pleasures and pitfalls of a woman's journey. To get her through her trials and tribulations, she forms a fragile relationship with V, her vagina, who may or may not have her best interests at heart.
A portion of the proceeds from the sale of this book will benefit the Alliance for Period Supplies and help provide menstrual products to people in need. Retail: $21.95
Learn how to overcome the toxic thinking and behaviors of codependency with this unique book’s meditations, affirmations, and inner child healing exercises for personalized healing. Each meditation has a YouTube recording for you to listen along with. By using cognitive behavioral tools, Codependent Discovery and Recovery 2.0 will help you change no matter where you fall on the codependency spectrum. It is possible to reinvent yourself in a positive way and the power is in your hands. Retail: $16.95
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT IN A PARTNER
When looking into the idea of getting married, one of the ways of knowing if it will happen for you is whether you know what you want in a life partner or not. If you do know what you want, that is a good step towards finding the person you want to spend your future with. If not, this is the perfect time to consider what qualities strike you well in a person.
YOU NO LONGER WANT TO JUST DATE/BE SINGLE
Knowing whether you will get hitched or not is also dependent on how you feel about dating at the moment. At some point in people’s lives they are very happy to be single. Being single can be a lot of fun and it affords a person a lot of freedom. You can do what you want when you want, and you don’t have to think about what your actions do for your relationship and whether or not they will affect your partner.
If you are at the stage in your life where you find dating exciting and fun and you don’t see that changing at all in the future, then you may not get married as you may find that dating answers all of your needs. However, for some people, there comes a time when this is not as fulfilling as it once was. If you no longer want to date, or you can foresee the fact that you will rather find a committed relationship more pleasing, this is a good indication that you will be getting married.
YOU DON’T JUST WANT MEANINGLESS SEX One of the best things about being single is the fact that you get to meet different people and if you want to, you can have a lot of sex - with no strings attached if both parties are happy with that arrangement. However, for some, it gets to a point or an age where you don’t want to have meaningless sex, instead, you will want sex to mean something with a significant other. When you get to that stage, it means that you are of a mindset that will put you in a good place to find someone that you want to marry.
YOU CAN WORK OUT TRUST ISSUES The key to a successful marriage is trust between two people. However, to get to the stage of marriage or simply being in a place where you are capable of being in a committed relationship with someone, you also need to be open to trusting. When trust problems are present, relationships do not have a balance or a feeling of tranquility. When you are with someone you love, you need to trust them above all others and be open to being vulnerable in front of them without fear of judgment.
If you feel you want to get married but know that you have issues trusting people, it can be a good idea to work through those problems so that you are in the best place possible to find the one you want to marry.
YOU’RE WITH SOMEONE WHO RESPECTS YOU AND MAKES YOU HAPPY
Along with trust, knowing implicitly how your partner feels about you is a good way of knowing if you are both in a place where you can see yourselves saying I do to one another. Perhaps one of the key things to have in a relationship is being with someone that respects you and makes you incredibly happy.
This is important as not only does it help put you on that aforementioned same page, but it also means that you can help work on how much you respect and how well you treat one another. If you are ready to say I do, it is essential that you are both happy in each other’s company and that you bring out the best in each other. By no means does this mean your relationship will never have arguments, but you must know how to argue constructively.
YOU AND YOUR PARTNER ARE ON THE SAME PAGE
It is essential if you are in a relationship with someone that you are both on the same page if you want to marry one another. It is incredibly common for two people who love each other to want different things—particularly when it comes to marriage. This can be because someone believes in it, whilst the other person does not. But being on the same page also means wanting the same things for your future—be they both wanting successful careers, a family or to live in a certain place. These are all important things that need to be similar or the same for a successful long-term relationship to be capable of saying I do. YOU WANT TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP WITH YOUR PARTNER When you are with a significant other, then one question you should ask yourself when looking at the possibility of getting married is whether you want to take that next step with your partner. If the answer is yes, then you are very happy and committed to each other. However, if you find when you ask yourself that you don’t want to take things further with them, then perhaps getting married to that person is not quite the right thing for you both. This doesn’t mean that saying I do is totally off the cards for you in the future, it just may not be the thing for you right now. YOU DON’T JUST WANT A WEDDING DAY Marriage is so much more than a Pinterest board. It’s about a loving relationship where you and your other half support one another in any way you can in a trusting and caring way. If you already know this, and it is that part of the marriage that you want, then you are likely to have a wedding in the future. However, if it is just the wedding that you are after, then it may well be that getting married is not quite for you yet.
What happens when you're a powerhouse divorce attorney who believes in love, marriage, and life partnerships? You find yourself. You find your purpose.
As the result of a life in matrimonial law, Leslie Montanile has gotten pretty intimate with the dark side of human nature. She has seen how vows of eternal love can curdle over into vows of eternal hatred. The limits of human cruelty, addiction, and abuse that can overwhelm people who once had the capacity for good. Contrarily, she has also seen how amazing love can be — its power to wither feelings of revenge, reshape feelings of loss and despair, and realize a life of fulfillment, happiness, peace. Revisiting her past and uncovering its many lessons, Leslie takes the reader on a riveting ride navigating the limitless angles of which greed and deception take shape, transfiguring lives. Retail: $14.99
Dating is a lost art, so stop swiping and get off dating apps to learn the dating secrets of Platinum Poire—Manhattan’s most exclusive and selective matchmaking agency—to find a platinum, lasting relationship. "The Art of the Date" shares relationship secrets from Platinum Poire. As seen on The Real Housewives of New York, authors Rori Sassoon and Dr. Errol Gluck have a success rate that is second to none when it comes to building relationships that are solid platinum.
Platinum Poire matches only the most elite couples: power players, movers and shakers, and super eligible CEOs. The Art of the Date will teach you how to choose a relationship that is built to last. "The Art of the Date" includes decades of combined knowledge from coaching New York City’s most desirable men and women. Now, you have a solution to years of bad dates and relationships that go nowhere. With the Platinum Poire method, you can commit without compromise and get the kind of relationship you desire and deserve. Retail: $24.99
YOU RECOGNIZE EFFORT IS MANDATORY
Everyone loves to say that true love is effortless. That's BS. Maybe the affection is easy at times and the wanting to work on your problems is natural, but the actual relationship work itself is just that—WORK. Make that distinction upfront and be sure you and your partner don't have any delusions about what is expected in the relationship. A marriage will stay afloat only when the effort is made on both sides.
COMMUNICATION IS KEY
Everyone eggs up at some point, so if you're taking on forever with someone, you must have the ability to communicate well with your partner and whenever there are rough patches, both should be able to face each other and apologize—sincerely, of course. If your romantic counterpart is avoiding difficult discussions or throwing out menacing ultimatums, that should sound some alarms. Marriage is about working as a team to put out the flames when they arise, and one should never threaten to leave when discussions get heated.
YOU CAN DISCUSS EXES WITH MINIMAL DRAMA
Speaking of fiery conversation topics... We know ex-talk can bring up some icky memories, but it's important to confirm that the person you're with is 1. completely over any old flames and 2. learned from his/her previous relationships. Too many "crazy exes" might indicate the problem may lie with the accuser.
Related articles: Why Men Don't Want to Get Married Anymore
Related articles: Is Marriage Counseling Worth It?
YOU MAKE LONG TERM PLANS WITH YOUR PARTNER
If you are already in a loving relationship with someone, you may know that you will get hitched if you both make plans with each other that are way into the future. People only ever stay in relationships in a meaningful way if they can see a future with the person that they are with. If neither you nor your partner wants to make long-term plans with each other—starting a family, moving in together, or simply shaping a future where you are still both together—it could be better to reevaluate your standings.
YOU'RE STILL DISCOVERING NEW THINGS ABOUT ONE ANOTHER
Periods of boredom and monotony are normal, but if you're still uncovering happy surprises about each other after years of being together, that's due to some conscious attempts at engagement on your part, and that's encouraging for the future. Beyond that, you may find yourself being open or eager to try your significant other’s hobbies, something you thought would never happen at the beginning of your relationship.
YOU START PUTTING THEM DOWN AS YOUR EMERGENCY CONTACT
Before mom!? Book the venue. You're ready.
There’s More to Marriage Than Just the Wedding
Even if you and your partner check all the boxes, it can be easy to get all wrapped up in the preparations for the big day. Sure, you’re obsessed with the gorgeous sparkler on your finger and can’t wait to go wedding dress shopping. But at the end of the day, your nuptials are just day one of what will hopefully be the rest of your lives together.
It’s good to prepare for your vows and all but try and spend more time and energy planning for the latter. Despite all the pressure of having a picture-perfect wedding, don’t let it get in the way of enjoying this time with your would-be spouse as well as the people closest to both of you. What happens if everything doesn’t go entirely to plan? The two of you can laugh about it on your 20th wedding anniversary.
What Happens If You Never Get Married?
So many people are scared of never getting married, however, it is not something to be afraid of. If you never get married, you will simply have a life where you can concentrate on yourself and your friends. Remember to always love yourself and that it's perfectly fine to put yourself first.
How Do You Know If You'll Never Get Married?
It is hard to know for certain if you’ll never get married as you can never say you will never fall in love with a person. However, if you close yourself off to the possibility of marriage, you will greatly diminish your chances of it ever happening due to the pessimistic opinion you have of yourself.
Related articles: Marriage Counseling When You Want a Divorce
How Many First Marriages End in Divorce?
Unfortunately, no one can be sure whether their marriage will last and not end in divorce—despite the very best of intentions. It is thought that the divorce rate of first marriages is about 50%. This means that one in two people will see the breakdown of the marriage of the person that they first married in their lives—it is thought that the rate is dropping, however.
It is important to remember that to marry someone, you need to ensure that you are mentally in the right place to do so. Ultimately, it is best to communicate and learn about each other thoroughly before committing to the long run. If you are with a significant partner already, you will need to both want to marry and know how each other feels. If you are single, you need to say goodbye to your single ways which can be easier said than done. Either way, if marrying someone is high on your list of priorities, you need to be optimistic that it will happen for you because you are worthy of love and being in a respectful relationship.
Follow us on Instagram and Subscribe to our newsletter to receive updates on new blogs and giveaways