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5 Things Every Woman Wants In A Man

by Lisa K. Stephenson, Relationship Coach & Author

Sigmund Freud had a theory, he believed that [all] women wanted a penis—to live life the way men do.

This does have some truth to it as since the rise of feminism some women have taken on more masculine roles. But why, and what does this mean for traditional dating? It means that men and women have come to an understanding that we all dwell in two complexities—feminine energy and masculine energy.

The problem is that now more women are in their masculine and men in their feminine. Men have evolved to adopt this way of thinking because they can now feel free to express their emotions without judgment or condemnation. Women, can now work and earn a lucrative income, taking care of themselves without the presence of a man.

Relationships should be viewed as an exchange of commodities—I am providing something in exchange for something. Yes, traditionally that is what it is. However, due to the emasculation of men and men leaning more toward their femininity, they are finding themselves on the passive side—resting, relaxed, and feminine. Men who are used to leading, protecting, and financing their homes are far and few in between in 2023.

We now have men on podcasts openly arguing with women and asking questions like, “What do you bring to the table?” when he, himself, has no table, chair, or window to look out of. Women are now seen as breadwinners to most hyper-feminine men.

So, although Freud theorized that women want a penis, should his theory have been broadened? Is it men who want a vagina? The tables turned rather quickly with little to no pushback from men. We now live in a culture where both parties dwell in their feminine energy—man and woman—therefore the relationship cannot progress because they are both waiting for the other person to take the lead.

Related articles: What is Masculine Energy?

To answer the question of, what every woman wants in a man we first have to look at the woman—is she leaning more into her feminine energy (I want my feelings cherished) or her masculine energy (I want my ideas respected)?


A masculine man marries a woman who is available to receive from him. Women who lead with their feminine are looking for the following:

BUILDING A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP: She wants chemistry, compatibility, and communication. Women who want to build a relationship will first want to find you attractive and learn that you have things in common. She of course wants good communication because she is a good communicator. She knows that for her feelings to be cherished she must learn to advocate for herself—what those feelings are and her expectations.

NEGOTIATION: Compromising is very significant in a relationship. She wants to know that her man can meet her halfway. A woman in her feminine is going to do what her man wants to do, but she will also hint at wanting to make herself happy, too. She will suggest something else and mention that although she loves doing things he loves, here are some things that will [make] her smile aka feel cherished.

LEADERSHIP: A man with a plan. Leadership is a masculine trait and once a man has a plan he can advise his partner and she will go with the flow. The plan meets her need to remain in her feminine. For example, she wants to be a SAHW when you two get married and raise the children. This is something discussed beforehand because you, as the leader, will let her know your plans on how you can sustain that.

HONESTY: Masculine men do not lie; they do not need to. Masculine men do not fear anyone—lying means fear. If you’re a boy who is afraid of his wife versus a mature man who respects and cherishes his wife’s feelings then you’re likely to lie to her. A man will not do things to hurt or trigger the one he loves because he will not risk losing her. Lies equal shenanigans and two people in love, committed to their relationship do not make room for insignificant matters.

GENEROSITY: For a relationship to be successful there must be one female and one male energy. Women are receivers and men are givers. Hyper-feminine men have a problem with giving to their women because they were more likely raised by a single mother or raised by a mother who was in her masculine while his father was in his feminine. He expects women to give to him while he decides whether or not he will reciprocate.

Related articles: Signs Of A Feminine Man

Women in their feminine are looking for natural givers. Men who take pride in seeing their woman happy, while also understanding that it is okay for them to receive. Women like this are not selfish, mindless, or clueless, if she is taking without some form of reciprocity, she is doing it wrong. She is not in her feminine, she is simply misguided and you need to let her go. Do not allow a woman to take you out of your masculine because she is unwise or too self-centered.


A healthy relationship requires good give and take. Now, let’s say you’re interested in a woman who will lead more with her masculine energy. She will be looking for the following:

A YES MAN: A man who will respect her ideas and not challenge them. She is most likely the breadwinner and likes making important decisions as it concerns her and her family. You will be wise to add some input but you cannot steamroll her, she will decide and that will be that.

CONSISTENCY: You cannot jump in and out of energies with a woman leading in her masculine. You cannot one day be feminine and then the next day decide you want to be masculine and lead etc. Once you have both discussed the dynamics of your relationship and she is in agreement to respect you and her, that is where you both stay and grow.

TRUST: She will never trust you completely and that is okay. She will put her all into the relationship because if it fails, she may end up resenting you or blaming herself. A woman in her masculine will always put herself first, so be prepared to cook your own meals more times than not.

EQUALITY: A woman leading in her masculine wants to be viewed as your equal—not just the wife, baby mother, or girlfriend but more along the lines of partner, better half, or significant other. She is ambitious—as are some feminine women—however, a masculine woman is ambitious because she is solidifying her position in your life. You are both playing your respective roles and doing so quite well.

RECEPTIVE: Ever dated a woman who if you took her on one date, she would end up asking you out for 2 or 3? How about if you got her a small gift and in return, she got you something more elaborate or expensive? Great. You’re dating a masculine woman. Giving is not a feminine skill. In a rational family, a woman is taught to love herself first. There is nothing wrong with this, but just be comfortable in the role you chose to embody.

There you have it, five things every woman wants in a man depending on if her energy is masculine or feminine. We hope this article helped.


Special expert contribution by Patrick Holmes, Licensed Professional Counselor

1 Comment

Green Gun
Green Gun
Feb 22, 2023

Oh, yes, she's strict, devout, and has no taint

Of worldliness; in short, she seems a saint.

But it was time which taught her that disguise;

She's thus because she can't be otherwise.

So long as her attractions could enthrall,

She flounced and flirted and enjoyed it all,

But now that they're no longer what they were

She quits the world which fast is quitting her,

And wears a veil of virtue to conceal

Her bankrupt beauty and her lost appeal.

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