Do Exes Ever Come Back After Dating Someone Else | She's SINGLE Magazine
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Do Exes Ever Come Back After Dating Someone Else

by Danielle Wright

There’s a popular saying that goes, they always come back. Now, while for some this can be true, for others, not so much. What does this mean? It means that when a relationship ends, one party will return to the other after a period of no contact realizing that they made a mistake yada, yada, yada…


We’ve seen this story play out many times—whether it’s a Rom-Com like The Parent Trap or books like Even My Hair Is Mad. Exes do sometimes come back but oftentimes it’s not because they miss you and want to rekindle what was lost, it’s usually for an ego stroke. Let’s deep dive into this, shall we?


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A young lady on TikTok was brave enough to share her story recounting the time her ex returned to her life. In the beginning, he was asking her on dates, promising to make time but he just could not seem to get it right. After a few cancellations on his part, she took a deep sigh, deciding, enough is enough. Soon after, he gave her a call asking boldly, “How much?” Of course, this young lady was perturbed. She then asked him to elaborate on his inquiry to which he responded, “How much for us to just have sex?”

Okay, you may be saying, “Well, that’s an extreme case.” No. It’s not. That’s an honest case. Men are very different from women in that they operate logically—masculine men. It is because of this that decisions are not made hastily and without reason. A man will wake up one day, decides he is no longer in love, and yet remain in the relationship until he has found someone else or hatched a thorough getaway plan.


The former is an unhealed individual who likes to monkey branch from one relationship to the next, a rebound warrior as Lisa likes to call them. By the time a man has decided he is no longer in love, he will be planning his escape, not thinking of a return, ever!


In other words, if the man left you it was pre-planned and if he returns after dating someone else—be it, someone he was cheating on you with and things go sour, yes, he will return but solely for sex. Why is this? He is not expecting you to want more than that with him.



Surprisingly, he is expecting you to turn him down, block him, send him back to where he came from, and never speak to him again because if the shoe was on the other foot, that would be his reaction. Unfortunately, however, men are not afraid to test the waters because many women do agree with these conditions. Due to those odds, he will ask as that gentleman above did if you’re open to something a bit more casual. You see, he did return, but not in the way you expected.


Men do not pursue women for relationships, they pursue women for sex. It is up to the woman to state her boundaries and maintain her standards on when she will sleep with a man. Once that man has had access to you—your body, loyalty, and mind—and he decides to leave you, he is not coming back to respect your boundaries. You were once a conquest to him that he has conquered. If a man leaves you, especially after dating someone else, maintain your dignity and do not look back nor allow him back.


But let’s say you left him because although you two were intimate or in a relationship you felt disrespected and decided to call it quits, will he come back? The answer is most likely. Will he change? The answer is most likely. Yes, men are used to rejection but they do not handle it well, especially from a woman they were intimate with who is not afraid to lose him.


Men attach their masculinity to their penis. If the sex is good, she is hooked and he is the one with the power. If you’re strong enough to not become dickmatized and can walk away, stay away, or have boundaries as strong as Fort Knox you will earn his respect.


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Here is where things get tricky. Did you leave him because he cheated on you? Think of it this way, if you were forced out of the relationship due to him committing an unforgivable act then although he will return, it is in your best interest not to take him back. In cases such as this, once you leave, stay gone. But if he cheats on you and you both decide to remain in the relationship then that is something completely different.


If he cheats, leaves, and returns and you take him back you are showing him that you are weaker than the woman he cheated on you with! At this point, you’re in a third-party situation and you are the loser. The only way for a man to value a woman he no longer has is for him to no longer have access to her. Yes, you read that right. When you leave, you’re gone for good otherwise threatening to leave but staying makes you weak. Taking him back after he’s gone out and dated someone else that you are aware of, makes you weak. Are you weak or are you strong?


Women like us are the prize. We do not recycle the same man, we replace them with an upgrade.

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