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Why Is My Ex Stalking My Social Media Account?

by Lisa K. Stephenson

Photography by Ralph Rabago

There it goes, that obvious unknown page on your Instagram account watching every single story you post. Is it spam, or…is it an ex? DA DUN DUNDUN!! Maybe you haven’t noticed it before, but there it goes now, plain as day, this creepy account with some weird name that required little to no effort, spying on you: zero photos, zero followers, zero followings.

The thing about questions is that there are answers, the thing about asking questions to random folks online, who aren’t too familiar with your past relationship and the details of how things ended means their answers are subjective and sometimes rude. We’re not rude here because some of us have experienced these things which makes us empathetic.

(that's mine, stinking of desperation, this was well enough his 15th attempt)

Hey sister, here are the answers to your questions.

First of all, you’re not crazy, desperate or weird for thinking a fake page stalking your social media could be an old flame who just hasn’t quite gotten over you. You’re human and so, we’re going to help you by stating the obvious reason for this, they are very much still interested in you! But here’s the great news, they can’t do anything to you, come back into your life or hurt you any further unless you allow them the opportunity to do so.

The controller for this game called life is in your hands. So, what can you do, especially if they’re the ones who left you alone and broken-hearted? Block, Block, BLOCK! There is no looking back now, all you care about is living your fabulous life going forward and being around those who make you happy and doesn’t serve as a great disappointment to you.

An ex simply looking to keep tabs on you may be a narcissist and certainly not deserving of your love and loyalty. He is trying to find a new fix/supply, reverting to an old flame only because it doesn’t require him to work that hard at courting someone new, spending both time and money on the unknown. With you, for so long, you were a sure thing.

Whether they’re just interested in your life shouldn’t matter either, you’ve been working hard to probably get over this person, move on, rebuild your self-esteem and repair your heart, don’t waste all of the hard work you’ve put into yourself on someone who wasn’t in it for the long haul in the first place.

Another reason, they want to see if you’ve moved on. If you’re still SINGLE, don’t worry too much, after all, single isn’t scary, it’s power. Maybe your ex is a rebound warrior—someone who likes to go from one relationship to the other without healing—and you’re not. You need time, and that is okay! But don’t pretend to be happy with someone else just to make your ex jealous, that is downright childish and you’re going out sad at that point.

Focus on remaining true to yourself, loving yourself and highlighting the best possible moments of your life, because whether or not they miss you or are interested in you until they’ve made the first move by actually speaking to you then it’s all just an ego boost having you acknowledge them. Don’t fall victim to this.

“You’re doing great sweetie!” – Kris Jenner


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