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How to Get Over a Guy Who Led You On

by Samara Harris


I’d like to begin this article by saying, you are beautiful—in case no one told you that today.

So, you’ve been dating this guy and he’s been leading you on, but how do you know that? What are some signs he’s leading you on and could it all just be in your head? Let’s not forget also, that perhaps you ignored some very red flags which could have helped you to avoid this situation now. No one wants to get played or hurt, so let’s dive in and see what we have here.


He’s Inconsistent/Cancels – If he’s canceled on plans more than once or rarely makes plans at all, then for sure, he’s leading you on. He cannot commit to anything solid because truth be told he doesn’t like spending time with you and is possibly keeping his options open. Don’t believe these lies, “I’ll introduce you to my friends when I’m ready” or “I want to meet your parents when the timing is right.” The timing may never be right and if he’s into you—earth sign or not –you will know it.

Men don’t want to have competition when dating a girl he likes. So, if he’s leaving the door open for another man to scoop you up then it maybe time to move on.

Excuses…AGAIN! – This one is pretty easy to spot. As women, we want to trigger his hero instinct—maybe you need something fixed around the house, and when you asked, he ghosted you for a few days. When you do hear from him he tells you that he’s been super busy at work. He makes timing an excuse, he makes your differences an excuse, and he makes distance an excuse.

Questions His Intentions – Men make it crystal clear when they’re into a girl. He is not going to play hot and cold. If you are in this predicament where you have to question his intentions, you need to respect yourself and end things. “It’s time to call it quits when you know that you did every reasonable thing within your control to repair things between you and your bae. Ending anything unhealthy can be the right thing to do, but it's not always the easiest choice. But what is more difficult than ending things between this person is ending it with regrets about could haves, would haves and should haves.” Dr. Talal Alsaleem said.

Selfish – When a guy is leading you on he only cares about himself. He doesn’t care about your feelings or well-being or that his actions are ruining your potential relationship. He’s stingy with his pocket, his heart, and his feelings. Run! Don’t’ walk away from this guy! The longer you stick around is the more you are disrespecting yourself. “The person who disrespects you will not do it to someone else who doesn’t permit it,” Dr. Jenny Martin commented. “As Oprah said, ‘People treat you based on what you allow’. Too often the self-help and spiritual growth teachings/books are about letting go of your ego. But for many women, they need more ego.”

Once you’ve decided to end things it’s time to start the healing process. For starters, don’t dwell on the past. When you think of the treatment you endured or even for accepting the bare minimum for so long, you may start to feel sad and depressed. No doubt you should feel your emotions, but don’t let them overcome you. Practice daily self-care. For me, I started doing at-home laser treatments, which have been doing wonders for my self-esteem.

You can try this too, Adam Williams, owner of Tools of Men says, “The Braun Silk Expert Pro 15 has a function that supposedly adjusts to your skin tone more naturally, reducing the likelihood of adverse reactions. It should also produce outcomes more quickly than competing technologies.”

Next, block and delete! There’s so much talk on whether or not you should block and delete an old flame, the answer is always going to be YES! It is a privilege to see you and if he wanted to have that luxury then he would have treated you with the love and appreciation you deserve the first time around. Do not give someone access to you when they took you for granted, plus, deleting/blocking a man—especially on social media—will help him to miss you. If he’s still able to see your every move, every post, then the mystery of your life is gone. Keep in mind that this is for your healing.

Single is power. Don’t be afraid to be alone. More often than not when you’re afraid of being single you are prone to getting into toxic relationships and marriages. You need time to figure out who you are, what you like and don’t like, and what you want in a partner. This will keep you from settling with someone who is not for you.

Related articles: Toxic Codependency

Related articles: Ending Toxic Relationships

Also, stay busy. Find a new hobby, volunteer or do anything that makes you happy. You have to do this to keep from blaming yourself or overthinking to the point where you go back to someone who did not respect you. It’s time to move on and find someone who will treat you right. You deserve someone who will take care of you and make you happy.

After dating someone who was leading you on its important to take care of yourself both physically and mentally. Try eating healthy, get enough sleep, go outside and get some fresh air and sunlight, oh and don’t forget to masturbate. It’s easy to get sucked into a void of feeling terrible about yourself and not having enough energy to do something about it. Before it gets to that point, take care of yourself so you can overcome this minor setback.


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