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How To Get the Spark Back In a Broken Relationship

by Danielle Wright

What does it mean to have a spark in your relationship? The spark simply refers to that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, the electricity that passes through you when you touch the one you love.

Image Credit: suteishi / Getty Images

It’s no surprise that every relationship experiences the inevitable disappearance of butterflies, widely known as the Honeymoon Stage. But why does this happen? The Honeymoon Stage is that time before you both grow extremely comfortable around one another. Typically, this is when the woman begins wearing less makeup, is less interested in activities that attracted her partner in the first place, or for men, they stop planning date nights and complimenting their girlfriends. After all, she should just know you love her, right?

Over time that doting feeling subsides, and you and your partner are left wondering, “How did we get here, and what can we do to fix it? Is it even fixable?” In many cases, the answer is yes, while in others, it’s no. Maybe you feel a new kind of love, one that is more platonic, or maybe you don’t feel any love at all—empty love.

Related articles: How to Forgive a Cheater

I remember watching an episode of Sex and the City when Carrie began dating Aiden. Over the course of a few days, she was waking up in the middle of the night unsure of how her life could feel so perfect, without fuss, calm. She went as far as to create a mental checklist, checking off tasks and realizing that nothing was abnormal or out of place.

She later had an epiphany while sharing breakfast with her friends; it was Big—the hunt, the chase, the keeping on her toes, it was all gone. She was finally in a relationship she could relax in because she felt safe. But if you’re a fan of the show, then you know she ultimately ends up cheating on Aiden with Big…re-inviting that chaos into her life or in her case, the spark.

Many couples go through this period where they feel it’s all too good to be true and now their relationship is boring or without thrill and excitement. Sometimes this lack of turmoil will lead one party astray, and it’s never a good idea to break your relationship; it’s almost always never repairable. If you thought the Honeymoon Stage was gone before…well, imagine absolutely never having that with your partner ever again.

When you stay in your relationship and articulate your emotions with your partner, you create a space where you can both thrive and grow. Broken relationships are usually irreparable, if I am being honest. Cheating on your partner or spouse because you’re bored in your relationship is childish, irresponsible, selfish, and diabolical. If you are a victim of infidelity, love yourself enough to walk away. You deserve better. On the other hand, if you’re both very committed to one another but simply need some extra ideas to keep things fresh, here are some suggestions on how to get that spark back:


As simple as this sounds, it’s highly effective. Couples go through this transitional period where they go from dating to a relationship, moving in with one another to marriage and kids (maybe not in that order), but life happens and we forget to do something as simple as saying, “Thank you or I appreciate you.”

If you or your partner's love language is words of affirmation, this step will do wonders. When you’re kind to your husband, he will, in turn, feel motivated to do nice things to see that smile on your face. Remember to be kind to each other and show your appreciation for their efforts.


This can make couples uncomfortable, but it’s necessary. As life gets busier, sex becomes the last thing on your mind or even your partner's, and this could be for several reasons:

  • Exhaustion

  • Distraction

  • Lack of satisfaction

  • Shyness

All in all, this is the perfect time to introduce other options. I recently counseled a couple who admitted to having trouble in the bedroom because the husband could no longer sustain his erection. Needless to say, the wife felt like she was to blame, to which he profusely admitted that she was not the problem.

After some time, he finally admitted that he was feeling a bit self-conscious due to the size of his penis. His wife was shocked, of course, considering she has never had an issue with it before—they’ve been married almost four years, with two small children. But, he mentioned that during sex she is not as enthusiastic as she once was, to which she quickly replied that she is simply tired now due to raising children and the household chores.

Overall, we reached the conclusion that he would help more around the house and he would look into trying the PhalloFILL Girth Enhancement. The PhalloFILL Enhancement is based on a unique combination of medically administered penile growth enhancement techniques.

Much to his wife’s dismay, my client remained adamant about sharing that this would help with his confidence.

His wife decided to hesitantly support his decision in his presence, but when he left to get the car, she scurried back to express her deep excitement, claiming that she had hinted at this for some time and was glad that he was now considering it, even more glad that he discussed it with me as though it was all his idea.


Like my previous clients, it doesn’t hurt to try something new. This doesn’t have to be a penile enhancement but perhaps an activity. Write down 12 unique things you would like you and your partner to do, then choose a date in each month, add the activity to it, and then go and do it. No excuses, no backing out, just stick to it. This will give you both something to look forward to each month. Bringing the spark back into your relationship is not hard once you both remain committed to the experience and share a desired outcome.

Best of luck on your journey.


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