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Signs of Unhealthy Jealousy

Let’s face it; although it’s never our intention, sometimes the green-eyed monster has a way of wiggling into the relationships we hold dear. If we realized what is at stake, we would make a conscious effort to shy away from this negative feeling. At some point in our lives, we have all felt jealous of someone else – what they had, who they were with, the life they were living.

However intolerable it may seem, it has been around since the dawn of time and has been as prevalent an emotion as love. So much so that it is a common theme in many films, books, and songs. It even dates back to biblical times when jealous rage was a common downfall among kings and queens. Perhaps not quite as romantic as many films express, but it's something we all feel and slowly become blind to. When we become consumed with the idea that we lack things we desire, we ultimately become ungrateful for the things we currently have.

Though jealousy is just one facet of the great range of emotions that humans cycle through, having a partner who is chronically jealous, possessive, or aggressive is not healthy and can be potentially dangerous. So, why have an emotion if all it does is lead to disaster? Well, the answer is simple: it seeks to prevent loss.

Yes, jealousy is filled with resentment when you see someone enjoying success and has something you are longing for, but it is also the fear of losing something you feel is rightfully – or wrongfully – yours. Back in the day, this was an essential emotion to have because it was a survival method. But as times have changed, the emotion has gained a negative connotation – and probably for the right reasons. Today, we see many victims emerge from traumatic and aggressive relationships, all from the same underlying cause – jealousy.

“Maybe he’ll fall in love with his coworker and leave me…”

“She has a male best friend, obviously she’s attracted to him,”

“He’ll come home and finally tell me he’s through with me and wants to break up,”

“Obviously she got the job instead of me, she’s such a kiss ass.”

We all have the same movie that plays through our heads, and we seem to always find people or situations that can fall victim to its plot. But if we are honest with ourselves and the reasons that led up to the breakup or divorce, then we can all agree that nothing can ruin a relationship faster than jealousy. So, what are the signs that jealousy has erupted in your relationship?

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They want you isolated, and if you happen to go out, you have to give detailed accounts of where you’ve been. Sure, this may seem romantic and passionate when your partner wants to spend every waking moment alone with you, especially if you two are still in the honeymoon phase. But separating you from your friends and family is often a subtle red flag. A possessive partner will always make it seem like the relationship is healthy and loving at the start, but as time goes on, sweeping statements will turn into jealous jabs and controlling behavior.

When they suspect that nothing is as it seems and question you all the time. One of the biggest signs that you are in an unhealthy relationship is when your partner constantly suspects that either you or everyone around you has the worst intentions.

This suspicion can manifest in various ways, but the main ones include: constantly checking up on you when you’re out, looking through your phone, questioning why you are receiving new texts and wondering who they are from, and using other information-gathering techniques. This sign may seem innocent at first, but in the long run, it provides insight into their true feelings – they don’t trust you.

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They are always around. Have you noticed that your partner has become like glue? Always sticking to you and refusing to do things they would normally do, just to make sure you aren’t up to anything tricky? Well, if you have, I wouldn’t ignore it. This is usually one of the biggest red flags that a possessive, jealous person can give you. While it may seem nice that they always want to spend time with you, this behavior often stems from anxiety and the fear of you potentially leaving them.

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