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Psychological Effects of Online Dating

by Danielle Wright

It’s no surprise that online dating has grown in popularity within the last 5-8 years, but since COVID, many users are having a hard time meeting their special person.

When asked about their online dating experience, a few of our male readers admitted to swiping right on every woman on their respective app. Once they were a match, they would then review her profile and make a decision from there on whether or not they wanted to date her. They also claimed that this is a popular practice among men because, unlike women, they’ve noticed that it’s easier for women to get matches than it is for men.


In the past, we’ve spoken on the many ways in which dating apps build their revenue—subscriptions and advertisers. Men are usually the easiest to target when pitching a subscription-based model because men want to find love, as most men are hopeless romantics and have no interest in being single.


Psychologically we are all wired to seek companionship—men want to procreate, and women want security. It is, therefore, no surprise that men are utilizing this tactic to pick up women; however, the downside to this is it leaves more women feeling like the apps are impractical. If the purpose is to swipe right on the people you’re interested in, match, and then date, it all falls short when men are just swiping right on every woman and then evaluating her, only to later unmatch and move on to the next. Women are feeling downtrodden, which, in turn, leads to fewer women joining dating apps. Men will now begin to see the results of their actions.


Men ruin things and then complain about it later. Yes, I said it. They’ve ruined love, dating, the economy…I mean, it’s completely obvious at this point, and the saddest part is, they don’t hold each other accountable for their actions, ever, especially in love. It’s usually met with a simple, “Well, I didn’t know my friend was abusing you” or “I didn’t know he was cheating so how could I tell him he’s wrong?”


Behaviors are learned; if someone is exhibiting a behavior, it’s because they’ve seen it performed by someone around them, and if they’ve done it, it’s been accepted by those people as well. Now that men are having a hard time finding success on these dating apps, everyone must pay the price, and by that, I mean, men now believe women are no longer looking for love, thus they will use that as an excuse to treat every woman poorly. Meanwhile, it’s their own fault why the very thing they’re using to find love is no longer effective.


PSYCHOLOGICAL EFFECTS OF ONLINE DATING

Online dating can be a useful tool for those who work from home (WFH) or struggle to make friends and aren’t very social. It’s a great way to speak to men and women, feel them out, and if it’s not working, then you can both unmatch and move on—no muss, no fuss. On the other hand, dating apps have made it difficult for us to see things through.


Men and women nowadays believe in instant gratification, and one small inconvenience, then it’s time to end things and block someone. This is all counterintuitive and not how relationships work. We can’t just quit at a moment’s notice—everything requires some level of commitment and consistency for there to be a reward.


Loneliness in men and women has increased due to this idea that something better is only one swipe away. Instead of seeing things through with a person we’ve invested in—whether with money or time—we leave.


Today, men have grown increasingly impatient and have been heavily influenced by music, friends, and celebrities, so most of them want a lifestyle they cannot afford, and this includes the trophy wife. However, most men devalue the women they’ve met on dating apps. When a man meets a woman for the first time, she has to earn points, so to speak.


MEETING A WOMAN IN PERSON

  • 10 (They met at a store, and she’s physically attractive)

  • 8 (Once they’ve slept together)

  • 6 (Once they get into a relationship)

  • 5-6 (Once she becomes his wife)

  • 4 (Once she has his children)

  • 6-10 (Once she shows to be a good mom, wife and life partner)


MEETING A WOMAN ONLINE

  • -5 (They met online, immediately he believes there’s something wrong with her because why is she meeting a man online, instead of in person)

  • 0 (They go on one date, and she’s charismatic)

  • 2 (Another date, she’s cool)

  • 4 (They spend time together)

  • This is where her true value is determined. If she has sex with him, her value drops. No sex and requires a relationship etc. her value increases some more...

  • -1 (Sex happens)

  • Most likely, he’s not interested in a relationship.

Related articles: Why is Dating So Hard


The use of online dating has, in fact, run its course. The best way to meet someone is in person at an event where you both have a shared interest. Men want to meet women, but they do find it easier to meet women online because they’re often shy and fear rejection. Hence why in-person events like ‘The Manhattan Dinner’ exist.


These men and women are serious about dating, serious about wanting to settle down. It’s not free to attend, and as we all know, whatever we invest in, we’re more likely to see it through and add value to it. Events like this are where men see the value in women.

The psychological effects of online dating have seen a rise in depression, addiction, lack of patience, social awkwardness, and more. It’s time that we take dating seriously again.

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