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A Small Dose of the Rebound Remedy

by Lisa K. Stephenson

Ever wondered what is a good rebound relationship time frame?


A thought that was constantly plaguing my mind was the regrettable notion that I may be entertaining a rebound relationship. Post-breakup, is there a specified time frame one should resist the urge of dating and seeking a full long term relationship? When is it rebounding and why is it called a “rebound”? There seems to be a lack of fulfillment in all of us, an empty void that we desperately wish to fill following the dramatic exit of our past loved one. But when is it okay to go back on the hunt? Truth is, is it ever okay? Are we so far damaged that the mere thought of entertaining another, loving another, or even building a future with anyone other than our first true love simply heinous?

As time journey’s on and we transition from adolescence to adulthood we enter the world of dating, coupledom as some would call it. Here begins the vicious cycle of heartbreak and love lost. It is the beginning of the learning curve, the time in our lives where we are shaped into our true selves. We give our hearts to a stranger in hopes that they will remain as meticulous with it as the members of our family and those closest to us have managed to do all our years prior. Thus begins the hunt. As some would imagine the hunt is different for every one of us, our communities, habitats and our associates are all major influences on what we would define as our “type”. The hunt is meant for the seeking, searching, avoiding a typecast by any means necessary. The hunt is the chase, the opportunity to pursue and capture. Dominate.

The gates are open, the starters are up and the flag is down. GO!

We head out, we seek, we capture, we win. After a long game of companionship manhunt, we finally meet the right person, the person who meets our quality of life. It is this union that teaches us vulnerability, love, acceptance, a basic understanding of self, and an overall appreciation of another. The companionship manhunt, how long do we engage? How long do we exercise our right to be free with our choices until we become fatigued and then, then we become lovesick in need of a rebound remedy?

Rebound: bounce back through the air after hitting a hard surface or object. Thank you dictionary.com.

The experts have spoken, now let’s tie this into your life and find the correlation, shall we? Bouncing back means getting back out there, putting yourself back out into the world to try again. You do not want to sit home and mope post-breakup, you want to find someone who can temporarily fill that void, that feeling of emptiness. The hardened surface so to speak is the reason you are single. The reason behind the single lifestyle you are not forced to endure. There are several reasons relationships come to an unsatisfying end: cheating, compulsive lying, distance, mutual agreement for separation amongst other things. Either way, that surface was hit and that relationship has ended. That once adolescent you who was ready to take charge and head out into the world of coupledom is now fatigue. What is there left to hunt after the one capture has gotten away? Rebounding is far more than bouncing back, rebounding is the hope that you will no longer have to feel lonely, empty, or sad once your loved one has departed from your life. Losing a relationship is like losing a loved one. We need to mourn, we need to grieve. Without this time, we are bound to break down at some time, the wrong time.


Listen here:


Yet, nothing and no one can satisfy our need for closure, happiness, and the first capture. While a remedy is a temporary relief we ponder the lifelong relief and ask ourselves how long are we to mourn? Experts say the time it takes to reach a level of indifference towards a lost loved one is half the time you spent loving them. A five-year relationship, expected indifference time 2.5 years. This is not to say you cannot date or fall in love, but please understand you will mourn and that is perfectly okay! Immediate rebound is a temporary relief for you but may create a long-term wound to the opposite sex, please be mindful, those of you who choose to hunt again.


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