top of page

Fresh Start and Faith: When God Leads You to Divorce

by Kyla Cruz & Lisa K. Stephenson, Relationship Coach & Author

Lately, it’s become a trend to demonize marriage via social media, events, or outings as more women are coming forward to discuss how stressful and unpleasant their unions are/were. Now, with companies like David’s Bridal facing bankruptcy, could there be some correlation? According to the New York Times, the retailer is once again considering bankruptcy, making this the second in five years. But why?


After the pandemic, weddings came back in a big way, but people did change how they were investing and choosing to celebrate the day. Lily Arlin, our first cover girl, made it clear that she was having a minimalist wedding to save on costs. This meant a small guest list and a non-traditional event space for their vow exchange.


While researching for this article, I began to wonder, with so many women demonizing marriage, could this be the reason couples are now scaling back on the expenses when it comes to wedding planning? Hear me out…TikTok has no doubt brought the world together, giving everyone and I do mean everyone the chance to showcase their lives one ASMR at a time. We get a deep dive into the lives of men and women who are *SAHW, *SAHD, *SAHG, the works!


Now, women and men can film a video in their car speaking on the dangers of marriage to which users of the app—who don’t even follow them—can view the content on their FYP where they are free to comment and share their experience. Unfortunately, there are millions of videos where women are talking about their marriages ending in divorce and they are less than willing to consider taking the plunge again. Many other women agree, upholding that single is the way to go.


Let’s take a look at some long-time couples who announced their divorce in 2022: Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus, Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney, Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet, and Chanel Iman and Sterling Shepard to name a few. While many of these celebs don’t count themselves as being deeply spiritual, marriage is after all a commitment to both your partner and God. So, does God call us to divorce?

God demonstrates that he never encourages abusive or unfaithful marriage by leading you to divorce. In light of this, married couples are encouraged to seek solace in divorce. With this in mind, couples—no matter how spiritual—can know that it is okay to leave a marriage that is no longer serving them. The important thing is that you forgive, do the best you can and find peace. However, this peace seems to be sweeping the nation in the form of perpetual singledom.


But what seems to be the issue? Why are more women opting out of marriage altogether and choosing to stay single? Lisa shares her take, “To the women who demonize marriage, I believe they should stop. Marriage was for a very long time a show of status, it was never truly about love.


If you are spiritual and have prayed for your Kingdom Spouse, the likelihood of you entering a union with someone who is *unequally yoked is slim to none. Did you prepare for your spouse? Did you pray for your spouse? If so, why are you walking away from what you have prayed for? I believe if more people went into marriage without the wedding their experience would change.”


Weddings are praised where marriages are…well…seen as boring and more of a status symbol. We can thank good marketing for that, where couples believe that they should have a lavish, over-the-top wedding versus going into their marriage financially secure.


A woman recently went viral after sharing that she and her husband racked up $30,000 in credit card debt for their wedding, leaving them with just $20.00 in their bank account (yes, you read that right). With financial problems being the number one reason for divorce we can see how unwise this is and where this couple could be leading.


If we focus on including God in our decision to marry versus capitalism and the need to impress strangers with the glitz and glamour of having a large, expensive wedding, then maybe, as Lisa pointed out the overall experience would be different. Getting married at the courthouse is the same as doing it in a hall with over 200 people.


But somehow we’ve been brainwashed into believing that if we did not spend an exorbitant amount of money on the festivities then it wasn’t a [real] wedding. A couple who is frugal and spends their money wisely may stand a better chance at a long-term marriage than the opposite.


Overall, maybe it's time to stop demeaning marriage as a whole and take a look at who you’ve married, the choices you’ve made, and how you entered the marriage in the first place. God can lead us to divorce for many reasons, just as he can lead us down the aisle to our forever person. The important thing is, we include Him in every part of the process, not just the moment when we say, “I do.”

Related articles: Will I Ever Get Married?


“Serving a Godly husband who forgets to pick up his socks one too many times is a lot different than serving a husband who couldn’t care less about God (or you) and who lives a lifestyle to prove it.” – Brittany Ann, Equipping Godly Women.

 

*Equally Yoked: This means these individuals should be compatible, they're able to agree on most things, and their values are aligned

*SAHW: Stay at home wife

*SAHD: Stay at home dad

*SAHG: Stay at home girlfriend

Comentarios


bottom of page