top of page

What Does It Mean When a Guy Argues With You?

by Danielle Wright

A few days ago, I woke up and simply broke down in tears. It dawned on me that I was not happy with myself and the decisions I’ve made when it came to choosing partners and having sexual relations with them, knowing they were no good for me. It takes me a long time to get over someone I’ve emotionally invested in.

Image Credit: CSA-Printstock / Getty Images


I end up cursing them out, getting blocked, using a TextNow number to further express my feelings, and just angering them because for one small moment, I want them to feel some kind of emotion, even if it's anger. I mean, I have to feel sad, lonely, discarded, empty, mad, guilty… why can’t they feel something, too?


When you’re not accustomed to standing up for yourself, you’ll likely feel guilty for stating your needs when you’re being assertive. This happens a lot in relationships because being assertive and having boundaries is something men do not like women to do or have. Men like women based on how the woman makes them feel.


If he’s a feminine man, he’s going to feel good around a woman with masculine energy. She is eager to prove herself as his equal; she will volunteer to pay the tab, she will initiate the dates or the conversations, she will drive hours on end to see him, she will be the one to lead essentially. So, in essence, this woman makes this man feel good.


As a feminine woman, it’s hard for me to take the lead, but when I feel forced into that position, it’s already too late; I’ve given in sexually. Men like to pretend; they are naturally great at lying and cosplaying as the man of your dreams until they decide it no longer serves them—until you’ve had sex with them. Most women like a man who has direction, and men know this, but often, they lack the resources to be a good leader. They are not oblivious to this, only hoping that you are.


When a man finds himself in a position of arguing with a woman or blocking a woman, it’s usually because he sees no value in her. Men believe women to be cheap and will convince a woman that her feelings are invalid, beat her down emotionally, and then make her feel like she is the villain for making him feel angry, sad, or lonely. It’s always everyone else’s fault and never their own when you’re dealing with an immature man.


STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF

Always stand up for yourself. I make sure to do this because, if not, I will drown in my own regret, and I don’t deserve that. Longing for closure from someone who lacks the emotional maturity to provide it to you will drive you crazy. Men are selfish; when they are going through their own problems, they have tunnel vision and will step on any and every woman along the way until he gets to where he is going. Once you hurt a man's feelings, it’s over, but he’ll have no problem hurting yours as much as he likes.


During this time, it’s normal for a man to argue with you or argue back with you because he still wants to be seen as the man in the situationship. But don’t let his words get to you; always remember, your words hurt him just as much as his actions hurt you. He is not arguing with you out of love.



HYPER FEMININE

Men who are hyper-feminine love to argue with women but will never argue with men. Be on the lookout for these types of men; they are often quick to engage in female arguments, issues, and problems, often giving their two cents time and time again. A man arguing with his significant other is not love! Please do not ever mistake it as such. Men who love their partner will exit the room and go for a walk to avoid confrontation and the possibility of losing their girlfriend. No argument is worth losing the person you love, and men know this. So, don’t be flattered if and when he’s going toe-to-toe with you.


EQUAL

Men who argue with women often see these women as equals; in other words, she’s masculine or possesses masculine traits. So, in this case, men will have no problem verbally abusing a woman or, in some cases, physically abusing one. She is either someone who talks aggressively or is physical herself; he sees this type of woman as one he can defend himself against with no consequence.


Be mindful of a few things: if standing up for yourself leads to a downright battle between you and a man, then it’s okay to pull back and recalibrate. Never let a man think that his actions towards you are okay, especially if you're crying or your feelings are going ignored and overlooked for extended periods.


I’ve been blocked for speaking up for myself, and the person felt insulted by my words, but the truth is, he only felt insulted because I felt like a reality check was needed. Men who fail to appreciate you when they have you will almost always flee the scene and claim to be victims of you, when it’s simply an overflow of emotions after being beaten down for so long. There is only but so much a person can take. If a man is arguing with you, take a moment to understand that it’s not you, it’s him, and you deserve better for yourself.

Comments


bottom of page