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If a Man Spends Money On You: Is It Love?

by Danielle Wright

"Men with money don’t mind spending it, and men with no money, if they have ambition and they like you, will hustle, go out and get it. The last thing a man wants is for his women to get money or any means from another man. If you’re ever confused about this, watch the episode of Martin when Gina repays Cole for money he lent her…you’ll never be confused again." - Lisa K. Stephenson

Image Credit: H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock / Contributor / Getty Images

There seems to be this trending conversation about men with money and how they spend it versus who they spend it on. As of today, women have inadvertently destroyed dating, and men with no money have only aided in the destruction. This is because impoverished men have convinced the women around them that money isn’t everything in relationships.

These women have in turn dated broke, non-ambitious men and then packaged it as Feminism to reach a wider audience of women. No woman should be sleeping with a man who cannot provide for her. These men want to cheat, lie, steal their way into sex, and there are too many “sexually liberated” women who let them.

I started re-watching the show, "Little Women: Atlanta" (Yes, I know I’m always re-watching something because the new shows suck lol), and the women on there, namely Tanya and Andrea, are seen having children with men who cannot provide for them or rather refuse to. They move into their homes, procreate, leave, come back, have sex, procreate again, leave— I mean it’s one big mess.

Amanda, on the other hand, does marry her boyfriend eventually, but he had no job upon their arrival in Atlanta, and episode after episode, season after season, we see him making no effort to change that. Monie and Marlon seem to be the only pair where she was provided for, but over and again she made comments about wanting to help him; she felt worthless and pressured into getting a job to bring in revenue.

Ladies, it’s okay to do absolutely nothing, I promise. Your role as a wife is not to work long arduous hours at a job; it’s to create a home for you and your spouse to enjoy. I think once we accept that this is, in fact, a man's world and we just live in it, then we will be more at ease with this decision.

Alan Reed in "Inventing Anna" is inspired by New York real-estate lawyer, Andrew Lance. Lance works in private real estate equity funds, hedge funds, sovereign wealth funds, corporate and individual developers and owners, mortgage and mezzanine lenders, and real estate investment. He allowed a 26-year-old Anna Delvey to scam him and banks into approving a loan worth up to $22 million dollars. What happened to him? Well, he was promoted.

Rachel Williams from the series, who worked at Vanity Fair, was also one of Anna’s victims, where she was notably robbed of over $62,000 during a trip to Morocco that Anna promised to cover. All in all, Rachel was fired from Vanity Fair, and charges of fraud were going to be brought against her.

However, American Express, in good faith, protected Williams from the charges. I bring up these two individuals to point out a clear difference—one was promoted, the other fired. Men do not have the same struggle as women in the workplace, and if you’re dating a Black man who may contest this narrative, please check out my other article: "Dear Black Men: Is it racism or are you just not respected?"

There are so many benefits to being a woman—we get to dress up, sit in our feminine, earn a lucrative income, have children, and most importantly, these are all personal choices. Once you make the decision to be in a relationship with a man, it is his responsibility to keep you happy and feeling fulfilled in the relationship—men pursue women for a reason.

Women are a status symbol for men; when we see photos of Jay-Z and Beyoncé together, our eyes immediately go to her. The same with Jeff Bezos and his fiancée, Lauren Sanchez. A man can look like a big toe with a cracked nail or no nail at all, but if he’s wealthy and the woman by his side is dangerously attractive, nothing else will matter; her beauty will elevate the relationship and his status.

If a man spends money on you, it’s because he is in his masculine and has it to spend. Men who argue with women about money do not deserve to be with a woman, let alone marry a woman and have children. Why do we want to continue a legacy of destitution? As women, you have to stop dating men who are handsome and athletic with no ambition.

Men like this are built like narcissists because they see themselves as the prize— the majority of women want to date a particular kind of guy, and so, if he sees himself as someone who is in demand, he is less likely to treat you well due to his inflated ego and sense of entitlement.

Thus, you become the man in the relationship, and before you know it, you’re trying to convince him on why he should spend money on you, stay with you, marry you, love you. Date men with ambition who are natural providers and generous with their earnings. See yourself as the prize; his money matters just as much as your beauty.

He wants you to stand out among the crowd when you’re out together, well, get his credit card and amp up the beauty treatments. Self-love means prioritizing yourself and keeping in your feminine energy because you do bring something to the table—your beauty, your soft-spoken nature, your generosity—splurging on him with gifts as needed and helping to elevate his status.


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