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What to Do When You Miss Your Ex?

by Siobhan Quinn

 

Photo by Vie Studio from Pexels

 

Missing your ex after a breakup can be one of the most torturous feelings. Whether it’s been one day or one year since the split, longing for your ex can leave you feeling depressed, confused, and stuck. It’s completely normal to miss someone who used to have such a dominant role in your life. But it doesn’t have to control you. If missing your ex leaves you stagnant and unable to move on, here are some simple things to do to make the feelings more bearable.



MEDITATE

I know, I know, there can sometimes be a stigma surrounding meditation. If you’ve never tried it before or haven’t consistently practiced it, it can feel weird, uncomfortable, and pointless. But trust me—meditation is magical once your mind starts to get accustomed to it. When James Anderson, founder of GiftASoldier, went through a heart-wrenching breakup, meditation is what helped him find peace and ultimately move on with his life. “I sat myself down and thought hard about what the future would’ve been like. It was painful. I didn't want to go there. But, the more I pushed myself, the clearer it became. It wasn't meant to be. This would never have happened if I didn't follow the discipline of meditation and self-reflection,” Anderson explains. When you miss your ex, you’re caught up in feelings of sadness, nostalgia, and insecurity. Even if you start with just five minutes of meditation each day, you will begin to feel more grounded in yourself, at peace with your thoughts, and focused on the present moment instead of the past.

 
 

START A NEW HOBBY

Sure, you’ve probably heard this tip before. But that’s because it works. Starting a new hobby can feel daunting—maybe you’re not sure if you’ll actually enjoy your new hobby, or maybe you're worried you won’t be any good at it. However, neither of these fears should stop you. Just start with one simple hobby you find interesting, no matter if you have any experience in it—this could be drawing, hiking, reading, roller skating, candle-making, whatever your heart wants—you just have to decide which one to try first. Learning a new hobby will not only fill your schedule so that you don’t have time to miss your ex, but it will also give you newfound confidence that will remind you you’re completely okay without them.



FOCUS ON YOUR FRIENDSHIPS

When so much of your time and energy is spent missing your ex, it can be easy to forget the valuable relationships you have right before your eyes. It’s not worth your peace of mind to focus on a relationship that didn’t pan out; instead, focus on all the beautiful relationships you’re grateful to have. If you don’t feel that you have solid friendships, take the time to make some new ones. “Being with [friends] will let you forget the pain that you are enduring. They will make you feel valued and appreciated,” says Michelle Devani, founder of LoveDevani. By surrounding yourself with those who truly care about you and you enjoy being around, you’ll notice yourself no longer finding the time nor the desire to even think about your ex.


It can be incredibly difficult to move on from your ex. Even when you think you’re finally over them, you might find yourself alone one night missing their presence and comfort. But that is okay! No matter how you feel about your ex right now, know that you have the power and the capacity to grow. By focusing on yourself, your hobbies, and the friends around you, you’ll begin to realize that your ex’s absence doesn't affect you—and it never should have to begin with.


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