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When a Guy Cancels a Date Because Of Work

by Danielle Wright

It’s 2024 and you’re in the dating pool, hoping to land yourself a good man; a man to meet your needs, hold you tight at night, and be the person to lessen the load when it comes to daily responsibilities.

Well, who said that was going to be easy, right? The age of social media has both tainted our views on relationships and our perception of self. It’s easy to find a meme and repost it because you find it relatable or like the photo of a random woman or man because you find them attractive—it’s all so easily accessible. So, if we don’t have to work hard to satiate our temporary desires, why would we value anything?

Both men and women understand the basic concept of dating: see someone you like, take their number, send a few texts, ask them on a date, impress them a few times, spend quality time together, decide if your feelings are mutual, become exclusive, and get into a relationship. It’s all so simple. But unfortunately, there are people who do not want a relationship, only the benefits that come with it, so only about four of the actions mentioned above are taken. When we half-step in anything that we do, it does not produce quality results.

Effort and hard work breed longevity. Any man disinterested in putting in hard work is not looking for stability—he is the Mr. Right Now of the dating pool. Yet, women seem to misunderstand this and choose to navigate this relationship hoping to change the outcome. There is a mystical attraction to men who put in little to no effort because they follow it up with excuses that activate a woman’s maternal instinct—nurturement. If you’re nurturing, then they will love you, that is what most women believe, and it's due to no fault of their own.

“A man is going to trigger one of three things in you—feminine energy, masculine energy, or instinctive behavior,” says Lisa K. Stephenson. “Feminine energy is restful and receptive. Masculine energy is leadership and diligence, while instinctive behavior is motherly and empathetic, therefore malleable.”

WHEN A GUY CANCELS A DATE BECAUSE OF WORK, it can be followed up with an excuse or a change in plans that results in low effort or energy. Men know that in order for them to have sex, they have to impress women. In order for them to get the woman they want, they have to earn a significant income. Do men settle? Yes. If a man has a choice between being rich and dating his celebrity crush, he would take it over dating and marrying the woman from his hometown who is perhaps not conventionally attractive but is willing to go 50/50 in relationships.

Oftentimes when men argue with women about their standards and preferences, they almost always refer to her looks. A woman’s beauty is equivalent to a man’s financial status. Rich men want beautiful, attractive women—trophy wives. Poor men will work hard to be rich, and along the way, they will entertain less than attractive women, so rather than triggering her feminine energy, he will trigger her motherly instincts because he needs something from her—whether that be shelter, sex, clothing, or food. A woman who feels sorry for you will want to provide for you; men know this, in fact, they bank on it.

Men who cancel anything at all usually do so because they are lacking interest or something better has piqued their interest, but this isn’t always the case. The only thing you should do is not care! Do not quarrel with him, do not question him, simply ignore his message and go about your day.

While his goal may have been to trigger your masculine or maternal instincts—either to get you to reschedule (lead) or to get you to agree to coming over to his place instead (low effort, malleable)—by ignoring him you will have shown him that both of those attempts failed. Men test women, and if you let your actions speak for you, you will be resting in your feminine energy. More often than not, he will be less likely to cancel a date in the future.

As soon as a man takes you out of your feminine energy, you are now considered an easy mark. You can be used, abused, and later discarded. This is why many women will refer to a man as a narcissist, but being selfish and narcissism are two different things. Women who entertain men who cannot help to make their lives easier will be faced with the ramifications of their actions and decisions. Men are selfish; they take from those whom they don’t want to give to…they do this to gain access to resources they otherwise do not have. But once they have those resources, they will find who they want and fulfill her desires. She will not experience the narcissist; she will experience the provider.

Although it may seem harmless at first when a man cancels a date because of work, it is anything but that…it is a sign that he has poor time management, you are not a priority, he is not interested in impressing you, he does not keep his word, and/or he is trying to get you on sale—low effort, same results. Men do not respect and appreciate glorified doormats, do not respond with kindness, do not respond at all. Simply move on and when he returns—because he will—do not give him the satisfaction of having you at a discount. Your standards should not waiver.


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