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What His Instagram Says About Him

by Danielle Wright & Lisa K. Stephenson, Relationship Coach & Author

Social media apps like Instagram continue to have a strong hold on us all, despite many complaints about the lack of support they receive on the app. Whether this is due to a lack of interaction from friends and family or strangers from viral videos— which, in comparison to TikTok, is harder to achieve.

But what about dating, and how does one navigate the world of social media when in a relationship or a budding romance? The answer to this should be simple enough; sadly, however, it's not all black and white. Men and women alike who find trouble approaching someone in public are much more likely to find them via the app and spark up a conversation.

Ashley Taylor from World Trans Guides says she asks for the Instagram account of any men who approach her to get her phone number. “It’s the easiest way to figure out if he is a good fit," she explains.

If this happens to you, do you know what to look for on his social media page? Well, first and foremost, since becoming a subscriber to She's SINGLE and reading through our wonderful articles in the magazine, you know all about being an ungettable girl and the male psyche.

With that level of understanding coupled with confidence, surely you're ready to face dating head-on. In an ideal world, your potential mate is well into his thirties and knows little about the app; heck, he may not even be on there often, simply to heart your story or post. That is what you should be looking for, but I get it; men like that are rare.

The men who flood social media apps are often between the ages of 18 and 36.

  • 18 - 25: Stay far away. Their frontal lobe has not yet fully developed. They may be more inclined to engage in casual relationships, and that's perfectly okay. After all, they are young.

  • 26 - 30: They've started earning a decent salary and are looking to spend on women. Social media provides a way to reduce rejection if a woman doesn't respond to their advances. Rest assured, they're spending a lot of time in those DMs—yours, hers, and everyone else's.

  • 31 - 36: These individuals might be considering settling down, spending more time appreciating attractive photos of women but not always approaching them. They're in the dating pool, looking for potential long-term partners. However, it's important to note that they may already have well-established preferences and mindsets. This is a good time to examine who he follows to see if you align with his interests.

  • 37+: These are the crème de la crème—especially those without kids.


There's nothing wrong with liking or dating a feminine man. Typically, these men will have an abundance of selfies in their car, gym photos, and pictures where they often gaze down into the camera. However, if you're a feminine woman, you may want to steer clear of these types of men.

In areas where you might expect him to take the lead, he will likely expect the same from you. Oftentimes, these men exhibit characteristics of being "momma's boys" and heavily rely on women's assistance in their daily lives. This could mean they lack the necessary skills to care for themselves, are not protective, and might be perceived as flirtatious when socializing with their peers. Men like this are usually friendly but may label themselves as shy as a way of encouraging women to take the initiative in pursuing a relationship.

Related articles: What Is Toxic Feminism?

When you choose to date a man like this, it can be challenging to voice your concerns within the relationship. These men tend to have a victim mentality and often rely on you to rebuild, fix, and repair the relationship you share. This behavior can be distinguished from what you see on his Instagram profile.

Those seemingly harmless selfies, especially when accompanied by a Snapchat filter, may indicate a preference for a 50/50 partnership. Be cautious if this doesn't align with your expectations for a relationship. One of the pros of dating such a man is that he can easily feel like your best friend. These men lean more into their feminine energy but are not devoid of masculine qualities.

They can make you laugh, enjoy casual conversations, and partake in activities that align with your interests. Ultimately, it's essential to consider your preferences and priorities when choosing a partner.

A masculine man's profile, on the other hand, will typically feature photos of him spending time with friends, often with someone else taking his picture. He is frequently portrayed in a confident stance, as these men often assume provider roles.

***Disclaimer: This is a married man, please respect his wife and family and do not go looking for him on social media.

You may find him with folded arms, head held level, and feet positioned shoulder-width apart. However, sometimes these men are merely acting the part of a masculine figure, and the most telling sign can be found in their captions. Here are some things to be watchful for and an example below:

  • Emojis in their captions

  • Offensive and demeaning rap or song lyrics

  • Misspelled words

  • Captions hinting at their relationship status

  • Captions complimenting their male friends in a feminine way

  • Long, rambling captions

  • Captions that seem unrelated to the photo

Furthermore, it's a good idea to check their listed locations for any cringe-worthy entries. If his location states "At your girl's house" while he's posing in a masculine manner, you might want to reconsider. This behavior suggests immaturity at best and, more likely, a pattern of infidelity.


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