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Why Do I Suddenly Miss My Ex?

by Danielle Wright

When I saw that I was assigned this article for the week I swear I began to pant like a dog in heat seeing her crush for the first time in months. Look, if you’re into astrology like I am then you know there’s been some weird stuff going on lately, and by weird, I mean, mercury is in the microwave again.


According to our friends over at USA Today, “In astrology, mercury retrograde symbolizes movement against the tide. On a global mundane level when everything is disrupted kind of equally, you’ll feel a bit more institutional chaos than normal. Retrograde is the moment when the earth is closest to another planet. It also represents a time when we can’t think big picture or plan.” Great, now that we have that out of the way…let’s chat about who is impacted now by this retrograde.

If you’re wondering why you’re all of a sudden longing for your ex—crying at odd moments (because I know I am) and having trouble getting a good night’s sleep—it’s because from April 21st to May 14th we are in retrograde. Signs affected this time around are Taurus, Leo, Aquarius, and Scorpio.

Look, I’m a Leo sun and Scorpio rising, so please note, I am losing my medulla (Cardi B voice). The person I am obsessed with and after spending an unhealthy amount of time on TikTok, where I have been convinced, he is my twin flame is a Taurus. So, all in all, this time around while mercury is in retrograde, I have been feeling every single one of my emotions. If you are like me, honey, you’re not crazy.

But here’s the kicker, while you may find yourself bawling at odd hours of the night or your brain refuses to give you a moment of peace from thinking about your past, this is not the time that you want to hear from them.

Most importantly, do not reach out; if you are in no contact stay that way. If you return to your ex then they have unhealed parts of them that need to be mended and if they return to you, then vice versa. All in all, this mercury retrograde is a test of the will. If you want any chance of having a peaceful reunion with your ex, then take a moment to think of ways you can pass this test.


Yes, girly I know because same! But for a moment allow reality to set in and understand that it may not be him that you miss, but possibly his potential. Were you truly happy when you were with him? Are you suddenly feeling the pull to begin cyberstalking him again and think he’s living his best life without you? Are you jealous?

These are just some things to consider because as women we tend to put our all into our relationships hoping for a return on our emotional investment. When the men in our lives fail to do so we believe we’re owed some justice.


When you’re a good woman or man to someone else you should not look for anything in return. When you are being your genuine self and not putting on a façade then there is no room for thinking or feeling a debt is owed. Moreover, men are nothing like women. As women, we have to know when to cut our losses and leave with our dignity. If you’re giving someone your all and it is not being reciprocated then you should ask yourself, what made them earn so much of you in the first place?

You see, most men are selfish while women are selfless—those of us who are not operating in our feminine energy. As a woman, you have to see your relationship with the man as the prize because you both bring something to the relationship that adds value to the other person. If things are one-sided the relationship will suffer and you will be left with the emotional baggage.


ASK YOURSELF WHY YOU MISS YOUR EX: Is it because mercury is in retrograde or do you feel like you’re owed something for having overcompensated while you guys were together? Overcompensation can look like this:

  • Offering Emotional Support

  • Help With Finances

  • Taking Trips to See Him

  • Spending Money on Dates

  • Sex

ARE YOU LONELY: Loneliness will have you running back to what broke you thinking that can heal you and that is simply not the case. The person who caused your wounds cannot heal them and I am speaking from experience when I say this, which is why it is important to me to get the message out. If you’re lonely, please take a moment to reevaluate your hobbies and pick up something new.

REMAIN NO CONTACT: Many men and women have broken no contact during this time only to either be left on read, seen or delivered. Do not let that be you. No contact is vital for healing because men miss women in their absence,. If you’re constantly checking their socials or making yourself accessible to them then there is no room for them to miss you.

Related articles: Signs Of A Feminine Man

Revoke their access to your life both in reality and via social media. You need to feel 100% indifferent towards your ex before you can ever think of speaking with them again. And to be honest, by the time you reach this level of indifference, you will most likely have already moved on.

Overall, don’t be hard on yourself. Consider this moment a challenge and you will overcome it with the right tools and knowledge. You’re not alone and you’ve got this!


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